


Milen Na Phir Kabhi

by ayushmannbhava



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Architect!Kartik, Chef!Aman, Getting to Know Each Other, Jealousy, Kartik has a cat, M/M, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23172574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayushmannbhava/pseuds/ayushmannbhava
Summary: Three years after the dreadful accident, Kartik is brought face-to-face with his ex-husband, Aman. Not a lot has changed in the years that they have spent apart. Aman still doesn't remember a moment of his time and marriage to Kartik.AKAAnother amnesia AU that no one wanted, but needed.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 126
Kudos: 176





	1. Pyaar Humesha Hi Rahega

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you guys,
> 
> I am back with another fic. As is my MO, this one is riddled with angst, but it will have a happy ending nevertheless. This is adapted from an old Malec fiction but I have made changes to it. Originally, it was posted as a 32k oneshot but I've decided to split this KarMan version in 10 chapters. A new chapter should be up every 2 days. So, the next 20 days should be fun.

“I’ll be there in half an hour, RJ... I swear. I didn’t realize it was already 8:30 pm. I am so sorry; you are free to kick my ass as soon as I am at your disposal... I deserve every bit of it,” Kartik breathed out on his phone as he rushed to the metro station in New Delhi. He didn’t even wait for Rajni to reply to him and cut the call immediately. He was running late, super late if you asked Rajni, one of his closest friends who lived in the heart of Noida. He tied the belt of his coat tightly around his waist and descended the stairs that led to the underground station. He was cursing himself for forgetting RJ’s birthday party while working overtime on his new project. An architect by profession, Kartik had decided to stay up late to prepare for his presentation about the new library that he was designing, while renovating an older one in one of the busiest corners of Connaught Place. He gulped and stopped to catch his breath and swiped his card at the entrance. The next metro for Noida City Center was up in 5 minutes. He scurried to the platform and bought a cup of coffee while waiting for the metro. Today, of all days, his car had also decided to ditch him. He had it towed to the mechanic right before he started for Rajni’s place.

  
The metro halted on the platform and Kartik hurried in and smiled with triumph as he found an empty seat for himself. He plugged in his headphones and threw his head back on the wall of the metro. His stop was safely half an hour away from where he had started and was the last stop. So, he could relax for some time. Closing his eyes, he released a deep breath and relaxed his shoulder muscles and the world silenced around him and the only sound he could hear was the music in his ears.

  
It was freezing when Kartik got out of the metro at the Noida City Center metro station. Working late in late December, right before Christmas, wasn’t such a good idea. He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and stepped out into the air, licking his lips. The night had fallen heavily all over the street and Kartik recalled that he hadn’t been out and about in the streets of Noida in a very long time – three years to be exact. They felt oddly familiar to him – the shops that were slowly shutting down and food stalls that were still buzzing with people who stole a glance at him as he passed by. Over the last 3 years, he had not explored Noida on foot. He came to visit Rajni sometimes, but it was usually in his car which he stopped directly at her apartment. There was no point in him coming to Noida otherwise because he could get everything he wanted in Delhi, except for that one thing that he desired the most...the one person. And now, even Noida couldn’t give that person back to Kartik even if the city desired it with every inch of its area. Kartik shook his head as his mind wandered to a place where he desperately wanted it to not. He couldn’t afford to lose himself after coming so far, especially today when everything and everyone was reminding him of his past, that he had terribly failed to put behind him. 

  
He turned along with the street and reached the reception of Rajni’s building. The doorman instantly recognized him.

  
“ _Mr Agarwal, kaise hai aap, aur Rani_ , is she recovering well?” (How are you, and Rani? Is she recovering well?) Kartik asked the doorman. The wrinkly man looked up from his desk and smiled at the young man.

  
“ _Ji Kartik sahab. Aapke aur madam ki duaaein hai,_ she is doing fine. We’re very grateful for the same.” (Yes sir. Thanks to all of your blessings.) The man giggled, drops of saliva appearing on the corner of his lips. Rani was Mr Agarwal’s granddaughter who was suffering from a severe Staph infection due to weakened immunity the last time Kartik had been to Rajni’s for their usual game nights.

  
“We did nothing, Rani is a brave girl...and so are you. How is Rajni’s mood today though? Am I in trouble?”, Kartik frowned, hinting at his friend’s mood.

  
“ _Madam bahot naraaz hai, Mr Singh._ Mighty pissed if you ask me!”, Mr Agarwal rolled his eyes, making Kartik sigh in defeat. He was going to have a tough time explaining how he forgot about her birthday party. Rubbing his forehead, he proceeded to the elevator and pressed the number 8. The lift creaked and shook slightly as the doors shut. Kartik held the walls of the elevator. He swore that one of these days, he would get stuck in these ancient machines. He left out the breath he was holding when the elevator opened on the eighth floor and he walked out. The floors were beautifully carpeted, and Kartik could hear muffled sounds of music from RJ’s apartment. He knew that RJ always left the apartment unlocked during such parties and so, he pushed the doorknob and walked into a house full of people.

  
Amidst the people who lived in the apartment complex, Kartik recognized his friends’ circle comfortably scattered across the room. Ravi, the young boy who was completing his residency at Noida Memorial Hospital and was also Devika’s, his best friend’s, fiancé, was sitting on the backrest of the sofa. He had a wine glass in his hand and his free hand moved animatedly as he explained something to two men who Kartik didn’t recognize. Crazy old _Ravi Desai_ – always the entertainer at parties. Kartik bit his lip and looked around. His best friend Devika was talking to _Keshav’s_ , another-blast-from-his-past’s, girlfriend Isha in another remote corner of the hall. Speaking of Keshav, Kartik’s eyes wandered around to find the young man... playing pool with Arjun Mathur, another of his contacts in Delhi. Kartik stepped forward to join Devika and Isha and find the Rajni in the process.

  
“Devaaa,” Kartik yelled as he reached his friend. That is what he fondly called her. Devika snapped her head around and her pupils widened when she saw Kartik. She took long leaps and jumped at Kartik, wrapping his hands around him as if she was meeting him after a very long time.

  
“Kartik,” she smiled against his shoulder and pressed a kiss on his cheek while pulling away from him. “Finally, _humare group ka sabse busy member_. Now, before Rajni decides to go haywire, find her and wish her so we can cut the cake. I am starving, and I hear Arjun has outdone himself with the cake selection,” she spoke all at once. Kartik scoffed and bit his lower lip. Rajni was very pissed, it seemed. He looked around to see if Rajni was in the hall and then looked at the door that opened into her balcony. 

  
Kartik grinned as he found his friend leaning on the parapet. Some of the guests from the party had occupied the balcony, enjoying the chilly nights of December. He covered the distance between them and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and sighed, “Happy Birthday, drama queen!”

  
He felt odd when RJ stiffened under his touch. That was unlike Rajni. As he pulled away and turned her around, he noticed the pallor of her face. Kartik squeezed her shoulder with his big palms. “Hey, I am sorry... _Please maaf kar de_...” Kartik shook his head, moving his eyes around in the balcony. And then he froze when the corner of his eyes caught something that couldn’t be true. Kartik’s breath hitched as he turned to see the object of his attention. Far away from him and RJ, with his side profile facing them, stood the love of Kartik’s life and his now ex-husband, Aman Tripathi. Kartik felt weak in his knees and stumbled back a little.

  
“Aman”, Kartik gasped, big tears forming in his eyes that were stinging and burning.

  
“ _Maine socha tha tujhe call karne ka but tune uthaya nahi..._ ”, RJ spoke up, her voice shaking with fear. “ _Mujhe laga humesha ki tarah tu nahi aayega but tu itna keen tha, and I thought I will text you. But, Aman ne mujhe kuch nahi bola, na bataya_ ,” (I thought I would ask you to not come to the party, but you were in such a hurry to come and Kartik... I should have texted you at least... but I didn’t know... he didn’t tell me anything) she blabbered but Kartik couldn’t hear a thing. All he understood was that his ex-husband and the man he was still in love with, deep down, was standing in front of him.

  
“ _Apologize mat kar yaar,_ it’s not your fault,” (You...don’t have to apologize) Kartik replied, but his gaze was still fixed at Aman. “ _Main theek hoon. Wo tera bhai hai, and he deserves to be here. Tu chinta mat kar, kisi ko nahi pata chalega that I am here_ ,” (I am fine... he is your best friend, always has been. He, of all people, deserves to be here. I will make myself scarce, don’t worry) Kartik pulled himself together and turned to press a quick kiss on her cheeks. 

  
“Kartik...”, a very familiar and hoarse voice broke the moment between RJ and Kartik and the young man turned his head towards the source of the voice, understanding that the voice came from the man he never wanted to face.

  
Kartik’s eyes met Aman’ deep brown ones and they moistened, instantly.

  
\-----

**[Three years ago]**

  
_“Let me go Devika. I need to know if Aman is alright...”, Kartik struggled as the nurses forced him to stay back on the bed._

  
_“Kartik...no, you can’t see him. Who abhi hosh mein aaya hai aur usse kuch yaad nahi. He believes that he came to the hospital after slipping down the stairs of his hostel,” explained. (He has only just woken up and he doesn’t remember anything.)_

  
_“Devika...that was so many years ago, before he and I even met...how can...”_

  
_“Doctors bolre hai its retrograde amnesia and his brain has rewired itself to link the two injuries together. And uske beech mein jo hua, including meeting you, falling in love with you and marrying you, he doesn’t remember anything,” Devika explained with tears in her eyes. She was holding Kartik’s good hand._

  
_Kartik and Aman were coming back from one of their many weekend getaways when a drunk driver, driving a large lorry, threw them off the bridge and into a dried-up river. Kartik survived the accident with a few broken ribs and a broken arm along with a mild concussion while Aman suffered a severe head injury and fell into a coma right after he was rescued from the crash site by the paramedics._

  
_He woke up 4 days later with no memories of the last half a decade. All he could remember was the night of RJ’s birthday during the time when he was at the University where he had slipped down the stairs and suffered a concussion. His father, Shankar slowly broke the news of his retrograde amnesia to him, only telling him information that wouldn’t stress his boy. Aman was aghast to learn that five major years of his life were missing and that there was a slight chance that he might never get those memories back. The doctors had strictly asked the families to not say anything that would put Aman’ brain in shock._

  
_Rajni and Keshav tried to introduce Devika to Aman but the same night, Aman suffered a shock episode and Shankar decided that nobody would mention anything about Aman’s life in Delhi until Aman was mentally capable of dealing it. Shankar visited Kartik after Devika told him about Aman, explaining why it was necessary for Kartik and Aman to not meet until Aman was healthy enough to survive. Kartik protested that Aman wouldn’t be shocked to see him and meeting him might just trigger his lost memories. But, Shankar wouldn’t budge. He couldn’t let Aman slip into a coma again, let alone lose him. After an hour-long discussion, Kartik realized that it was probably in Aman’ best interest that he stayed away from him._

  
_Kartik was discharged from the hospital a week later. He was allowed to see Aman once before he left with his mother to Allahabad. Aman was asleep in his room, with Shankar by his side. Rajni and Keshav were sleeping on the couch. Kartik was allowed to have one last glimpse of his husband, only when the latter was asleep. No one blamed Kartik for anything but knowing that making Aman meet Kartik could threaten his wellbeing, it was understood what needed to be done. Kartik saw his husband sleeping peacefully, with the wires and tubes aiding him to breathe and heal. His head was wrapped in bandages and his left arm was plastered._

  
_Sunaina, Aman’s mother, hugged Kartik softly, “Wo bahot pyaar karta hai tumhe, bas thoda dhairya rakh. We need to let him get better. Even if he doesn’t remember you right now, he’ll come back to you. I know that. You are Aman and Kartik. You’re meant to be together, always. Waqt sab theek kar dega.” (Just trust time to heal every last broken bone and heart.)_

  
_“Mummy, main kaise usse jaane doon? I vowed to be by his side for the rest of our lives and here I am, leaving my injured husband in the hospital, running away when he is asleep. What does that make me?” Kartik whispered, teary eyed. Sunaina cupped his face and wiped the tears away._

  
_“Tumne ye bhi vaada kiya tha humesha ek dusre ka dhyan rakhne ka, haina? For that, it’s necessary that you let him heal, Kartik. Shankar would eventually tell him about you when it is the right time. And you need to go home and heal yourself... You’re human, my love... it is ok to miss him, but you have to understand that you can be there for him by not being around,” she pulled him in a hug. Kartik sobbed, burying his face in his mother-in-law’s neck. “You and Aman, you’ve been together for so long, and you will find your way back to each other. Ghar jao Kartik. Theek ho jao taaki you can fight for your husband.”_

  
_Kartik left Aman and Shankar in that hospital room and returned to his home in Noida, to heal from the accident and deal with the fact that he had lost his husband even though a small part of him was relieved to know that Aman was alive and breathing._

  
_He could live with that._

_\-----_

  
Kartik blinked his eyes and found Aman standing very close to him. He choked and took a step back as he felt Aman’ lavender and vanilla fragrance saturate his lungs. It had been so long that Kartik had almost forgotten how heavenly Aman smelled.

“Aman,” he breathed out his name again, holding himself at a distance. He didn’t know if Aman was ok being around his ex-husband without going into some kind of an emotional shock.

  
“Kartik...” Aman narrowed his brows, as if asking him if he was right in recognizing the face. In front of Kartik, stood the man he had vowed to be with for the rest of his life. But the same man had a strange look in his eyes, eyes that didn’t recognize Kartik. Never in his wildest dreams could Kartik have imagined a day where Aman would look at him like that. It was worse than the pain of having his arm ripped into shreds.

  
“Yeah, yeah, it is me... _kaise ho tum?_ ” Kartik took another step back and licked his lips, whispering softly. “You look healthy... and well,” panic started setting in Kartik’s chest. He didn’t know how and what to say in front of his Aman anymore. The man still looked just as beautiful, and it was hard to believe that he had no memories of his time with Kartik.

  
“Yeah...yeah, _main theek hoon_ ,” Aman replied, quizzically.

  
“I am happy to hear that. _Yahaan acche se enjoy karna_ , ok?”, Kartik blurted and dashed out into the apartment after muttering a quick goodbye to RJ. He stopped right in front of Arjun who understood that something was wrong with his best friend, guessing by the redness of his eyes. Kartik bit his lips, as he struggled to breathe, and wrapped his arms around Arjun, exhaling deep and unsettling breaths.

  
“ _Kartik... kya hua? Tu theek hai. Talk to me_? Come on... you can tell me what happened. _Kisine kuch kaha tujhse_?”, Arjun made circles with his palm on Kartik’s back, trying to calm him down. Kartik’s heavy breathing made Arjun's shirt warmer. “ _Tere haath ka dard, wapas aagaya kya_?”, Arjun grew worried.

  
“ _Aman... Aman wapas aagaya, Arjun. Main abhi mila usse, bahar. Abhi bhi nahi pehchanta mujhe_. I thought I could deal with it but the fact that my husband looks at me like he doesn’t love me anymore. Mera Aman...” Arjun’s heart sank for Kartik, who he considered his younger brother.

  
“ _Tujhe ghar jaana hai?_ I’ll drive you back myself...” Arjun asked. Kartik thought for a second. “ _No... no, main yaha Goggle ke liye aaya hoon_. I can’t leave.” Kartik shook his head, rubbing his eyes. “I will just...”, Kartik took a deep breath, pulling himself together. “Jaa, get me a beer”, Kartik rubbed his eyes and flashed a smile on his face.

  
“Kartik...are you sure? You were just...are you alright? A moment ago...”, Arjun was taken aback.

  
“ _Main bhool gaya tha ki Aman ne mujhe 2 saal pehle divorce papers bheje the_. He knew that we were married, and he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. There’s nothing I can do about it. _Yaha pe saalon purani baat pe Goggle ki party spoil karna is not right,_ ” Kartik gulped and nodded. 

  
Kartik took a deep breath and turned around to find Aman standing a few feet away from him. His fingers were curled into each other and he was rubbing them, nervously. Kartik swallowed and looked at him, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

  
“ _Hum baat kar sakte hai?_ ” Aman spoke, breaking the silence between them. Kartik raised his brows in surprise.

  
“ _Tumhe baat karni hai_?” Kartik turned the question against him.

  
“Haa,” Aman said, albeit nervously. Kartik nodded and followed him to Rajni’s room. Kartik gently shut the door without locking it.


	2. Tu Mujhme Kahin Baaki Rehna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, idk, Aman has thoughts?

Aman still didn’t remember anything between him and Kartik and it was driving him insane. Two years ago, his father told him about the missing pieces of his life, including him falling in love with Kartik. He stood in front of his father, holding his wedding photo in his hand. The photo in which both he and Kartik were dressed in gold and white  sherwanis and were kissing each other. At first, Aman did not believe his father. Shankar gave him  Kartik’s number, if he wanted to check up with the man. It had been a year since the accident and Aman had almost completely recovered.

That night,  Aman held  Kartik ’s photo in his hand and thought about everything that was to become of his life. He didn’t remember  Kartik at all. And that was the reality of that moment.

“ _ Humne _ __ _ kabhi _ _ divorce  _ _ ki _ __ _ baat _ __ _ nahi _ __ _ ki _ _. I mean directly...  _ _ maine _ _ letter  _ _ bheja _ __ _ tha _ _ but... _ ”, Aman began, catching Kartik by surprise. It was one Aman’ many qualities that Kartik had fallen for. His brutal honesty. Kartik cleared his throat.

“ _ Baat _ __ _ karne _ __ _ ke _ __ _ liye _ __ _ kuch _ __ _ hona _ __ _ chahiye _ _ , _ ” (There’s nothing to talk about that.) he whispered.

“I am sorry I don’t remember us”, Aman dropped his head. “ _ Papa ne  _ _ bataya _ __ _ tha _ and I... I don’t disregard what we had, but I just...can’t remember it. Remember what I felt for you...”

And there, Kartik felt a knife being driven through his chest. “You don’t have to apologize, hon...  _ Aman!  _ I understand.  _ Tumhe _ __ _ chot _ __ _ lagi _ __ _ thi _ _ and  _ I am glad that I can see you breathing and walking,” Kartik smiled. That was true. 

“I tried to talk to you... but I couldn’t, Kartik,” Aman shook his head. Kartik felt odd. Everything sounded different from his mouth. “It kills me that I let you alone in all this. You remember us, and I cannot fathom what it is like being in your place, watching your husband in front of you. I truly am sorry. I just hope you know that the divorce wasn’t because of you. I couldn’t be honest with a relationship I don’t remember anything about,” he added.

“Believe me, Aman.  _ Main  _ _ samajhta _ __ _ hoon _ __ and I am ok with it. I did sign those papers and send them back to you. Remember? So, there is really nothing that we need to talk about. Welcome to Delhi.  _ Tumhari _ __ _ behen _ __ _ ka _ _ birthday  _ _ hai _ . You should celebrate her,” Kartik shrugged. 

“I moved here permanently,” Aman informed, biting his lips.  Kartik’s pupils widened.

“You did?”, he gulped. “How did  _ Papa _ ...I mean, Uncle take it? Is he alright with you shifting back to the city, all by yourself?” Kartik lifted his lips upwards.

“I told him that it was time for me to get back to my life and work. How long can I stay in Allahabad, under his umbrella. I am 30 now, and I need to get back to work,” Aman informed, rubbing his knuckles with his fingers.

“Right...of course. So, where are you working then?” Kartik asked. It was becoming easier, for the first time in forever. Aman was in front of him and yet, Kartik was doing just fine. He was enjoying talking to Aman. He had missed him so much.

“For now, I am going to join Goggle in her café...but I’ve been looking for places to rent. Maybe start my own restaurant. I don’t know. I haven’t given much thought to it. It’s all been really spontaneous,” Aman was surprised with himself. He usually took time opening up with people but with Kartik, he just naturally blended in. He couldn’t imagine sharing so much with someone he had just met, but it all felt very organic.

“Oh...great! I am sure you’ll find a place in no time. All the best, Aman,” Kartik smiled, spotting Arjun who was looking for him with beer in the living room. “I’ll... I’ll see you around. Arjun is looking for me and I should,” Kartik tilted his head and turned around without waiting for  Aman’s response.

“ Kartik ?”,  Aman hesitantly called him back. “ For what it’s worth. I am  still  sorry”, he whispered.

“Yeah...me too!” Kartik smiled and left the room. 

\-----

People gathered around the table as Aman and  Keshav brought the cake out for  Rajni’s birthday. Arjun and Kartik were standing on the other side of the birthday girl. Kartik kissed the side of  Rajni’s forehead before she blew the candles. She dug the knife into the cake and sliced out a large piece out. Cutting it into half, she stuffed one into  Aman’s mouth and one in  Kartik’s mouth. 

“Happy birthday,” he whispered in her ears. Aman watched his sister and his ex-husband share that sweet moment. He felt his lips curve into a soft smile. One by one, all of Aman and  Kartik’s common friends hugged and wished  Rajni while Kartik and Arjun slipped to the bar. 

“I have never seen you around in Noida”, a deep baritone distracted Kartik and Arjun from the conversation that they were having. Kartik turned to see a tall man, almost as tall as himself, with striking hazel eyes. His dark brown hair fell messily on his forehead. Kartik raised a brow and leaned forward on the table.

“That’s because I live in Delhi and not Noida,” Kartik licked his lips and blinked nervously when he noticed the boy looking straight at his wet lips. He pulled his tongue inside and cleared his throat.

“ Aah , that explains it,” he winked, inching closer to Kartik. Kartik shifted uncomfortably and felt Arjun retreat from beside him, leaving him alone.

“Explains...what exactly?” Kartik rolled his eyes.

“You’re so cultured for the likes of people down here. So unlike the roughness of Noida. You couldn’t fake being from here to save your life,” the boy shook his head gently lifting his hand up to  Kartik’s shirt and clutching the lapels.  Kartik’s breath hitched as he felt the boy come closer than he would have anticipated.

“I don’t even know your name...  Mr Big Eyes. But here you are, judging me for who I could possibly be,” Kartik pulled back, only slightly.

“ Tanay .  Tanay Jhaveri, ” the boy replied, covering the distance Kartik had just created. Kartik cleared his throat once more. He wasn’t ready for this. Not tonight. But  Tanay was good looking, and he smelt even better. He straightened himself and let  Tanay pull him by his belt such that their waists brushed against each other. Kartik was trapped between the table and the boy. 

“Kartik... Kartik Singh,” Kartik breathed out, uncomfortably. “I’ve never seen you around  Rajni’s house either.”

Arjun wrapped an arm around his boyfriend and dropped his head on his shoulder. “Kartik is in so much trouble tonight, Deva,” he spoke to  Devika who was standing close by.  Devika’s eyes darted to Kartik whose head was tilted slightly, and  Tanay was whispering something in his ears.

“God knows he needs this kind of encouragement,”  Devika smiled, recalling all that Kartik had been through in the last couple of years.

Aman was sitting on a table with  Keshav , with a glass of martini in his hand, and the mere mention of Kartik by the  Devika and Arjun made his eyes wander around the room to spot him. And then he spotted him at the table, stuck to it by a boy who was dangerously close to Kartik.

Aman gulped and looked away, something inside him finding all this very revolting.

“Who is that boy with Kartik?” Aman enquired from his best friend.

“Ooh...”  Keshav widened his eyes. “That’s  Tanay ...  Rajni di’s new neighbor. He moved in last month. Chill guy. Works at a museum. He’s been very helpful to  didi and I like him,”  Keshav informed.

“ _ Bahot _ _ young  _ _ nahi _ __ _ hai _ _? _ ” (Isn't he too young?) Aman frowned.

“He’s 25? Aman  bhai _ kya _ __ _ bol _ __ _ rahe _ _ ho?” _ (Aman, what are you even saying?)  Keshav rolled his eyes.

Keshav was right. Aman wasn’t making sense. He closed his eyes and distracted himself by bringing up the topic of his opening his own restaurant.

_ “Main  _ _ tumhe _ __ _ jaanta _ __ _ tak _ __ _ nahi _ _ ,” _ (I don't even know you) Kartik chuckled, trying to break free from  Tanay ’s touch. The younger boy scoffed and pressed a light peck on  Kartik’s stubbled cheeks. 

“ _ TGIF _ , Friday night after work. Join me for drinks?”  Tanay was up front and blunt. Kartik widened his eyes and gasped. He’d just been asked out by a boy, years after being single. “ _ Tab  _ _ jaan _ __ _ lena _ _ , _ ” (Get to know me then) he added with a wink.

“Did you just ask me out?” Kartik asked, appalled.

“Maybe. So, yes to drinks or not?”  Tanay leaned closer.

“Who's to say that you’re not doing this just to get in my pants?” Kartik pulled away, understanding that he was being flirted at.

“I am not. You’re handsome, Kartik. I have not been able to look away from you ever since I walked in through that door. And, I want to know you, if that is ok with you?”  Tanay ’s voice grew softer.

“Friday is still 3 days away. I need time to think,” Kartik blabbered.  Tanay smiled and pulled out  Kartik’s phone from his pocket.

“Unlock it, and I’ll save my number. Tell me when you’ve decided,”  Tanay said. Kartik found himself obeying the boy. He unlocked his phone and handed it over to him who saved his contact number and left Kartik, kissing him on his cheek again. Kartik let out the breath he was holding and rubbed his temple. He received a text later.

** I texted myself so that I have your number too. It was great meeting you, Kartik -  ** ** TeeJay **

He was in trouble.

Kartik joined his family trying to forget his encounter with that stranger. The guests slowly returned home and then the only people left were  Rajni , Aman, Kartik,  Devika , Ravi and  Keshav . Arjun had taken his boyfriend home because he was feeling uneasy.

“Do you have to work tomorrow, Kartik?”  Rajni asked, plugging in a memory stick in her TV.

“Yeah, why?” Kartik narrowed his brows, dropping on the couch next to  Devika . He had a bottle of beer in his hand, although he was tipsy. His eyes were red and heavy with intoxication, but he could notice Aman moving around through the corner of his eyes.

“ _ Movie  _ _ ke _ __ _ liye _ __ _ ruk _ __ _ jaa _ _ , _ ” (Stay for the movie)  Rajni winked.

“ _ Tu _ __ _ nahi _ __ _ bhi _ __ _ bolti _ __ _ toh _ __ _ rukne _ __ _ waala _ _ hi  _ _ tha _ _ , _ ” (I would have, even if you didn't ask.) Kartik stuck out his tongue.  Rajni frowned and threw a cushion at Kartik. Kartik chuckled, dodging the attack.  Keshav dimmed the lights as they group settled in front of the television. It was halfway through the movie when  Kartik’s phone lit up his surroundings. Aman turned around to notice Kartik.

Kartik was scrolling through his phone and then he just blushed red.

** Waiting to hear from you,  ** ** Mr ** ** beautiful eyes -  ** ** Tanay **


	3. Tere Bin Nahi Lagta Dil Mera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aman settles in delhi ncr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the italicized content in block quote are the flashbacks. Just a heads up.

“So, did you tell him a yes?” Devika asked him two days later. They were sitting in Rajni’s café and waiting for their orders before proceeding to their respective workplaces. Rajni’s café, unlike her residence, was in Delhi and very accessible from both Devika’s hospital as well as Kartik’s architecture firm. In fact, her major clientele happened to be from both these places, solely based on word of mouth spread by the the two people. 

“Tell who, what?” Kartik was playing with the remnants of the croissant on his place and he snapped his neck up at the question. 

“The neighbor who asked you out day before yesterday? _Wo Tanay Jhaveri,_ ” Devika wiggled her brows. Kartik pursed his lips and muttered a weird sound, suggesting Devika that he was still thinking about it. They were interrupted by the clanking of two glasses on the table. It was Aman. Kartik cleared his throat and looked away, to avoid Aman’s gaze on him. 

“That’s your Banana and Kiwi milkshakes,” Aman whispered, hoping to see a smile in return from either one of the two friends. Devika looked up at him with warmth and love in her eyes. “Have a lovely day,” he smiled. 

“Thank you, Aman,” she softly smiled. “ _Tu acche se settle hora hai?_ It was great to see you healthy and back on your feet after so long,” she added, hoping that one day, they could be more comfortable being around each other. 

“ _Sab theek hai, filhaal_ . _Noida kaafi welcoming hai_. And I obviously didn’t remember most of the people I know and was pleasantly surprised by all the affection I received at the party. _Milke sabse accha laga._ Anyway, I hope you enjoy your milkshakes. I guess, I’ll see you around then?” he said, nervously. Devika narrowed her brows and looked at him, trying to figure out if there was something more to what Aman had meant. There was a certain familiarity the way he spoke. Of course, he didn’t remember her or anyone else, but the familiarity was uncanny. 

Aman took a deep breath and returned to the kitchen. He kept the tray aside and clutched the edges of the kitchen counter, closing his eyes. Knowing what he and Kartik had had and what he had so mercilessly ended, he was confused why any new development in Kartik’s life was bothering him so much. Rajni had a serving staff to serve the finished orders, but Aman didn’t comprehend why he had volunteered to do it himself for Devika and Kartik. Why was he eager to know if Kartik took up that boy’s offer for a date? Why was he even just eager to see his beautiful face? 

Why was Kartik Singh so interesting for him? 

“Tanay looked like he was a fun guy. I mean, all he did was ridiculously flirt with me all the time we were at the bar at RJ’s house. And it was also kinda cute,” Kartik admitted, pulling his glass of milkshake towards him. 

“See, that’s what I am talking about. You need fun and cute in your life, Kartik. _Tujhe ye accept karna hoga ki teri situation aur jo sab hai, wo change nahi hoga. And jo jaisa hai humein waise hi accept karna padega, chahe kitni bhi difficulty ho,”_ (You really do. You need to accept that it is time to move on and nothing is going to change your current situation. Even if it is the hardest thing to do at this point.) she sighed, continuing, “ _Aur main jaanti hoon, mushkil hai._ I’ve seen you and Aman being head over heels in love with each other. What happened after that accident was unfortunate, but you need to accept it,” Devika grabbed Aman’s hand and squeezed it. 

“Fine, I’ll... I’ll send Tanay a text that I’ll go out with him. One date wouldn’t be harmful I suppose,” Kartik rolled his eyes and shrugged sending a positive text to Tanay. A wide grin appeared on Devika’s mouth and she yelped in joy, alerting Rajni who was sitting by the billing desk, working on some of the data from their previous day at work. 

“Okay?”, she rose from her chair and crossed her hands on the chest. _“Bahot der se dekh rahi hoon, kuch toh baat hai? Kya hai?”_ (I have been noticing the two of you for a while. There’s something brewing, what is it?) she asked. Devika wiggled her brows and turned to Rajni. 

“Kartik Singh has a date for tomorrow night,” she announced, rather loudly. Aman was about to open the door of the kitchen to hand over another order to a waitress when he froze in his tracks. His gaze fell on his ex-husband, who was expectedly staring at him with a longing in his eyes. 

> _“If you wait any longer, you’ll lose this pretty boy to some random wannabe from TGIF. Scurry and ask him out on a date. Have you noticed the way you look at him, Aman Tripathi? It is high time you do something about your infatuation with that crush of yours,” Rajni elbowed a 22-year-old Aman. Aman sighed and looked at the boy in front of him – Kartik Singh. He was a year younger than Aman and had just graduated from architecture school. Aman met him through their common friend Ravi._
> 
> _“I don’t know Goggle. I mean, look at him. He’s beautiful. And way out of my league. I can’t believe that he hasn’t been asked out by someone already,” the boy feared._
> 
> _“You wouldn’t know for sure until you try. Jaa, baat kar. And don’t you dare tell me he is out of your league. You, my brother, are a league of your own," Rajni nudged him and slightly pushed him towards Kartik who was standing in the middle of the café, waiting for Devika to finish their order._
> 
> _“Hi,” Aman gasped._
> 
> _“Hi,” Kartik beamed, his eyes glistening with happiness that Aman couldn’t quite understand. “You’re Aman right...? Ravi ka dost?” Kartik asked, with a smile tugging his lips._
> 
> _“Haan, I am Aman,” Aman blushed, blabbering. Kartik knew who he was. “I... how are you? What brings you here?” he stammered, knowing that he was acting stupid._
> 
> _“I am good? Tum batao? Devika said that this café has the best croissants in Delhi and I just... tumhari padhai kaise chal rahi hai?” Kartik stuffed his hands in his pockets and stepped closer._
> 
> _“Good... great. I got a job with a very renowned restaurant in Delhi,” Aman pursed his lips and informed. He was impressed by the fact that Kartik remembered almost everything he had told him on their first meeting at TGIF._
> 
> _“Congratulations, Aman, that’s great!” Kartik bit his lips, not knowing where the conversation was headed._
> 
> _“Thank you, Kartik. But I didn’t come here to boast about that. I actually wanted to ask you something. I... was... I was wondering, if you’d... mere saath drinks pe chaloge?” Aman swallowed, his mouth drying out. Kartik was widened his eyes and raised his brows. He wasn’t expecting this. He blinked nervously with his lips parted._
> 
> _“Drinks... tumhare saath?” he questioned. Aman tilted his head, narrowing his brows, and licked his lips. He was amused._
> 
> _“Yeah... mere saath,” he assured._
> 
> _“As in a date?” Kartik asked, again._
> 
> _Aman chuckled, turning red and purple in his cheeks. “Sure, if you want it to be a date... then, why not?” he added. “I mean who wouldn’t want to go out with someone like you,” Aman exhaled nervously._
> 
> _Kartik gave him a lop-sided grin. Aman pursed his lips, controlling his urge to blush like a stupid person._

Aman blinked as the blurry vision cleared in his mind. He gasped. What was that? A memory? A dream? He looked around and saw Kartik paying the bill to Goggle before he left. Aman stumbled and fell back hitting the wall. _These visions_. He rubbed his forehead and blinked rapidly. These strange visions were partly the reasons he had returned to Delhi. He wanted answers and explanations as to why this was happening to him now – after two years of obliviousness. And then, as if on cue, his head started spinning suddenly. He lifted his palm facing backwards in an attempt to hold the wall, but he started blacking out. 

It would have been nice if Aman was alert enough to feel the comforting hands that grabbed him before he fainted to the ground. The last thing he registered was being lifted up in the air by someone and being pressed on a broad and warm chest before he closed his eyes. 

Kartik’s world shifted when he saw Aman tremble in front of the kitchen door. He leaped over the billing desk and sprinted to Aman, lifting him in his arms as Aman fainted lifelessly. They rushed him to the nearest ER in Kartik’s car where the attendings told them that he had just blacked out because of sudden adrenaline rush through his brain. He would be fine after a couple of hours of sleep after Kartik gave them Aman’s medical history, including his retrograde amnesia. 

Aman was given a comfortable bed to sleep in while Devika and others resumed their work. Rajni and Kartik stayed, with Kartik not letting Aman’ hand go for even one second. He knew he would have to let it go once Aman woke up, so as to not startle his ex-husband, but Aman was asleep right now and he could cherish some moments of being with him even if was for a little while. 

It was a couple of hours later that Aman woke up from his slumber. His eyelids were heavy and loaded with sleep, but he struggled and shot them open. His right hand felt heavy, warm and sweaty, and when he turned his head, he found Kartik holding it in his own hands while sleeping on the chair. He wriggled his fingers and Kartik’s hand automatically let him go. He shot his eyes open and leaned forward, scanning Aman to see if he was responsive. Kartik’s fingers absent-mindedly went to Aman forehead to remove strands of hair from his head. Aman closed his eyes and leaned in on the touch. It was _magical_ to say the least. 

“Are you ok?” Kartik asked, in the softest voice possible. His eyes were filled with tears of concern and an emotion Aman couldn’t comprehend; the emotion filled with unconditional love. 

“Yeah,” Aman moaned, not knowing that he was smiling. He felt the bed dip next to him as Kartik sat down, caressing Aman’s face. Aman understood that Kartik was too scared to remember about their breakup and divorce. At that moment, Aman let himself be cared for by his ex-husband. He even went to the extent of enjoying this closeness to the other man. 

Kartik lifted their hands up and pressed it on his chest, heaving a huge sigh of relief. “You scared the hell out of us,” Kartik whispered. “But I am glad you’re safe... never do that to us again, Aman. Never. I can’t lose you again,” he added, smiling. Aman rolled his eyes under his lids, still feeling tired and weak. He was about to say something back to Kartik to make him feel better when he felt Kartik’s grip loosen around his hand. He looked back at Kartik who was staring at Aman with an awkward horror on his face. The horror of realization. 

“I am sorry,” he whispered and let Aman’s hand go. Aman looked between his sweaty hand and Kartik’s face as the latter stood up and stepped away from him. “I just meant that I am glad you’re ok. I’ll find RJ and tell her that you’ve woken up. Take care,” he blabbered and ran out without waiting for Aman’s reply. Aman threw his head back on the pillow, something in his heart aching. 

Rajni found Kartik in the hallway. He was panting with fear. She understood that he must have had a moment with Aman, and when he asked to be excused, she let him go while she volunteered to make sure Aman got food on time. In the middle of their random conversations, Aman stealthily threw a question about Kartik’s whereabouts. Rajni squinted her eyes at him and told him that Kartik had gone back home. She also told him that he stayed the entire time Aman was asleep. 

\----- 

Aman saw Kartik again, over a week later, when he accompanied Devika to Rajni’s café for their brunch. He was a little more than just happy to see him even though he knew that Kartik had been going out with this Tanay guy who was Rajni’s new neighbor and someone who Aman did not like, at all. It was a chilly winter morning and Kartik was clad in muffler when he entered the café. One by one, he removed his layers and revealed a dark purple button up shirt that was open in the chest region. Aman was preparing a sandwich for another table when he froze, gazing Kartik. He was brought back to his senses by Devika, who ordered their usual milkshakes with bagels this time. 

Aman was eager to know what happened on Kartik’s date with Tanay, and he was mad at Rajni for not having enough information about the same. He noticed Devika finish her breakfast and leave with Ravi, while Kartik was stranded alone with his paper rolls and a novel. 

“Aman, you’re staring,” Rajni whispered in his ears. Aman frowned and glared at her. 

“I am not. And even if I were, it is none of your business Goggle,” he grunted. 

“Wow, you’re being nice today,” she raised a brow. 

“Sorry,” Aman pouted, looking away. _“Main jaake wo location dekh aata hoon jo Keshav ne dhunde hai, restaurant ke liye,”_ he shrugged removing his apron. 

“You do that,” Rajni smiled. 

Aman grabbed his coat and tied the belt tightly around his waist. Wrapping a scarf around his neck, he reached for the door. 

“Aman?” he heard Kartik calling him back. Aman smiled and turned to him. 

“Hi,” he whispered. 

“ _Kahin jaa rahe ho?_ ” (Headed somewhere?) Kartik stood up grabbing his rolls with him. 

“Yeah, Keshav shortlisted a few places I could possibly rent. _Socha jaa ke dekh aau,_ ” Aman shrugged. 

“Oh... _theek hai._ Have a good day,” Kartik smiled and ran out of the café avoiding any further conversations with the man. Aman left the breath he was so nervously holding and hauled a cab for himself. 

It was roughly lunch time when Aman finished recceing the places he could prospectively rent. He was hungry enough and instinctively reached the corner of a street where a hot dog stand was. He narrowed his brows, not realizing why he had walked down here or how did he even know there’d be a food stall here. He somehow, just knew. Ordering a vadapav for himself, he turned around to see the queue. A few men apart, right under the sunlight, he spotted Kartik again. Damn you, destiny. Aman bit his lips and dropped his head. 

Should he approach Kartik? Or should he just pretend to have not noticed him. 

“Kartik?” he snapped his head up and called out. Right! He should totally notify Kartik that he was there too. Kartik craned his neck to see where he was being called from and his eyes widened when he saw Aman. 

“ _Tum yaha kaise?_ ” Kartik shouted back. The people around him shot him an annoying look and Kartik licked his lips. Aman’s smile dropped. He had noticed how Kartik referred to him as _tum_ and not _tu,_ like he did most his friends. It felt as if that pronoun placed a certain amount of emotional distance between them. 

Aman grabbed his vadapav and reached Kartik. “ _Yaha ek plot dekhna aaya tha,_ ” he shrugged. He accompanied Kartik as the queue moved forward and Kartik placed his order. 

“So, did you find something worth your liking?” Kartik asked, holding his own food and coffee in his hands. They found a stone bench and sat down, placing their food on the bench. 

“Nah, I don’t think there’s anything to my taste here. Keshav is being very patient with me, but I just don’t... it doesn’t feel alright. There’s always something missing. Something I can’t even notice,” Aman informed, sighing. “I might just have to go back to Allahabad if I can’t find a place. _Waha Papa ke office ke bagal mein ek plot hai,_ ” he admitted. 

“Hmm,” Kartik hummed. He didn’t want Aman to leave, but he knew that it wasn’t his place to say anything. “If you don’t mind, I could show you a few places during the coming weekend. I know of a few friends who are waiting for their shop to get rented. And you might just like one of the places, you know?” Kartik offered. 

“I suppose I could try. _Usmein koi nuksaan nahi,_ ” Aman shrugged. 

“Great, I’ll see you on Saturday then? So... how are you recovering well from the stroke?” Kartik changed the topic. 

“Oh...right, I am fine. It was just a momentarily lapse of consciousness. _Main theek hoon,_ ” Aman smiled, biting into his vadapav. _Tum kaise ho,_ Aman wanted to ask him, but he couldn’t find courage. 

“I am happy to hear it. And I am sorry _agar awkward ho gaya ho toh, mera intention nahi tha,_ ” Kartik swallowed. 

“You don’t have to apologize, Kartik... I am alright. Thank you for being there and helping Goggle.” Aman smiled. “How...how was your date?” Kartik felt Aman’s breath hitch as he asked. 

“My date?” Kartik widened his eyes. 

“ _Woh uss ladke ke saath, Goggle ka neighbor,_ ” Aman looked away. 

“Oh... oh... you meant like that? _Tanay! Theek tha, it was ok!_ ” Kartik lifted his shoulder pushing the thought of that night away. 

“Good... good...that is good. You should... get out... good... very good,” he stammered. Kartik narrowed his brows. Aman was behaving oddly, to say the least. “Do you...do you work nearby?” he changed topics. 

“Yeah, _woh building dikh raha hai?_ ” Kartik pointed in one direction across the road. “It’s my firm. I am an architect,” Kartik informed. 

“Right yeah... _Papa ne bataya tha,_ ” Aman shook his head, taking a sip from his coffee. 

“Do you want to go and sit in my office? I’ll call you a cab from there, to take you back to Noida?” Kartik offered, not quite understanding why. 

“Yeah, sure. If it isn’t too much to ask!” Aman pursed his lips. 

After eating their lunch together, Aman followed Kartik to his firm. Some people looked up and smiled at him, as if they recognized him. That made Aman uncomfortable. He pushed a glass door into a big and well-lit office. Aman looked around in awe. It was beautifully designed and expectedly so, considering Kartik was an architect. There were rolls of paper spread out on a long table in one corner and a few measuring equipment lying atop. Kartik went around the table and sat on his chair. He dialed his secretary who came in rushing through the door. 

“Can you call a cab for Aman?”, Kartik asked with a smile on his face. The girl, with a high ponytail and diary in her hand, looked at Aman and grinned. 

“It’s so good to see you Aman!”, she smiled. Aman looked between her and Kartik and dropped his head down in guilt. How much had he forgotten! 

“Rashmi! I asked you to call a cab. Aman is running late for his work”, Kartik cleared his throat, coming to Aman’s rescue. 

“Right...sure, boss. Just a second. To Noida City Center?”, she confirmed. Kartik and Aman hummed a reply in unison and Rashmi left the room to confirm the bookings. Aman walked around his office for a bit and then sat on a chair in front of Kartik as the latter dove into his work. 

“I am not sure if it is the right thing to do,” Aman cleared his throat to attract Kartik’s attention. Kartik looked up from his papers and dropped his pencil on the table. “But, would you be able to help with the designing of my new restaurant. Your work is impressive to say the least,” Aman awed. Kartik’s cheeks flushed red as he looked around his office in pride. 

“Why thank you, Aman. I would love to take up the assignment,” he nodded. 

> _“Oh my God, Kartik. This is amazing,” Aman awed at the hall in front of him. It was Kartik’s recent assignment – a large hall for an orphanage. It was also the first time Aman and Kartik had gone out after officially becoming boyfriends._
> 
> _Kartik_ _smiled and squeezed_ _Aman's_ _hand which were interlocked in his._ _Aman_ _turned around to face him and lifted himself on his toes. He cupped_ _Kartik_ _’s cheek in one hand and crashed his lips on his._ _Kartik_ _stepped forward and grabbed_ _Aman's_ _waist, pulling him closer._
> 
> _“I love you...” Aman whispered against Kartik’s lips. Kartik gasped and widened his brows._
> 
> _“I love you too,” he kissed his boyfriend’s cheek._

Aman flickered his eyes when he felt Kartik snapping fingers in front of him. He looked at Kartik who had a horrified look on his face. Right, they were in Kartik’s office in his firm. It was nothing else. 

“Are you alright? Aman?!?” Kartik called again. His stance depicted that he was ready to hold Aman if the latter passed out again. 

“I am... fine. I just... I just had a...” Aman coughed. _A vision._ He’d been having so many of those lately that he had almost lost count. 

“Your cab is here,” Kartik informed, stepping away from Aman. Aman nodded and got up. Without uttering anything else, he ran out of Kartik’s office and got into the cab that took him back home. 


	4. Bas Tu Aur Main

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kartik and aman recce plots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay safe and indoors, y'all <3

Kartik strolled in Rajni’s house on the next Saturday morning to pick Aman up for their recce. Rajni was getting ready to leave for her day at her café and Aman must have been in his room because the living area was empty when Kartik walked in. He called out to Rajni and she hummed a reply, asking him to make himself comfortable while she readied herself. Aman, however, was the one who came out of his room adjusting his clothes. Kartik was at the table, grabbing candies from the bowl. Rajni had to keep those handy because Kartik had such a ridiculous sweet tooth.

“Morning,” Aman smiled, adjusting his ear-cuff. Kartik looked up from the table and his lips parted seeing Aman. His ex-husband wore a dark purple color silk shirt over tight black pants. There was dark muffler around his neck and a long overcoat on his hand.

“Good morning,” Kartik whispered, shaking his head. Aman was surreal to look at. But, Kartik knew that, and he also knew that he couldn’t do a thing about it. He was still staring at him when Rajni smacked his back rather harshly.

“So... I was saying that now that you’re here, why don’t you drop me to the café on your way to wherever it is that you’re taking Aman. It’s better than taking a metro... right Kartik?” she glared. Kartik frowned and nodded, humming a reply. Rajni grabbed her bag and keys triumphantly and followed the boys out locking the apartment. Aman and RJ proceeded ahead and had reached the reception on the ground floor when they saw that Kartik wasn’t following them anymore. Aman volunteered to go back and check on him and found the man talking to Rajni’s neighbor, Tanay. Aman’s nostrils flared for some reason, and he hid behind the door panel to observe them.

Tanay was standing very close to Kartik, holding him by the buckle of the latter’s belt. Kartik’s lips were pursed together, and a small smile was sweeping across his face. Aman leaned closer, annoyed with how comfortable Kartik had become with that godforsaken neighbor.

“I was hoping we could do it again,” Tanay began. Aman narrowed his brows and peered closer to have a clear sound. _Do what exactly._ Aman thought, and uneasiness gripped him

“Do what?” Kartik played along.

“Drinks, date, games. I had a very good time, and that does not happen often. So, I would love to go on a second date. Of course, if you liked going out me too?” Tanay admitted. Kartik scoffed.

“I did. I had fun... I think,” he added.

“So... Singh? Wanna do it again this Friday. Maybe, this time... we can have the date indoors. Your place or mine? You decide... I am ok with anything,” he stepped closer. Kartik stiffened and stammered.

“Uhh, I’ll swing by your place. Friday at 7?”, he asked, as if trying to avoid Tanay from coming any closer.

“Friday, deal,” Tanay grinned and caught Kartik’s face pulling it closer to himself when Aman just couldn’t take it further. He stepped back and pretended to just walk in on the two having a moment.

“Kartik, what’s taking you so long?” Aman asked, rather loudly and Tanay stepped away. Kartik cleared his throat and wrapped his arms around himself.

“I was just... I...”, he whispered.

“Oh, did I interrupt something? I am so sorry. It is just that Goggle is getting restless,” Aman gasped, his pretend game going strong.

“No, we were just talking. I’ll be... I am coming, Aman,” Kartik said, defensively. He turned to the other boy, “Tanay... I’ll see you this Friday!” he said and walked out, pushing Aman away from his path slightly.

Aman turned around and sighed in relief. His eyes fell on his reflection in the glass wall and Aman noticed a small smile appearing on his lips. He followed Kartik to the car and took the backseat.

\-----

“This is the first place I wanted you to have a look at. One of our old friends, Jaitika recently moved to Mumbai and she vacated this place, sort of leaving me in charge,” Kartik extended his hand showing the place to Aman. It was a huge hall with glass walls all around. It was located on the corner of the street and the interiors were based on the Colonial London era, something Kartik knew Aman was very passionate about.

“It is large, open, well-ventilated and very you,” Kartik smiled walking back to a pillar and leaning on it. Aman gasped as he walked out. Kartik did know him and his interests like the back of his hand. It was strange to observe it up front.

“There are two more, but I thought that you’d like this one the best, so?” Kartik crossed his hands on his chest and waited for Aman to say something.

“What... did you... did you tell Jaitika about me... and by me, I mean... _me..._ ” Aman closed his eyes realizing that he was being cryptic with his words.

“I did... I did... she says that she’d love to talk to you on a Skype call... to understand your needs better... and you can get to know her then,” he shrugged. Aman’s heart melted. He wanted to run to Kartik and hug him. Thank him for being so nice and gentle about everything.

“I love it,” Aman managed to say with tears in his eyes. Kartik noticed the change in Aman’s voice and he stepped closer, covering the distance between the two of them. The older man looked at Kartik and gave in to his emotions, jumping forward to hug Kartik and wrap his arms tightly around him. Kartik stepped back a little as he felt the weight of Aman all over him. “Thank you, Kartik. You’ve no idea how much this means to me. _Mujhe wapas nahi jaana padega. I can be here, with everyone,_ ” he cried, burying his face in Kartik’s neck. Kartik smiled softly and rubbed the back of Aman’s head.

“I am glad. I didn’t want you to go either,” he admitted in a very soft tone. Aman’s eyes popped open hearing that and he pulled away from Kartik, looking straight into the latter’s gorgeous hazel eyes. His hands were curled around Kartik’s shoulders who was holding Aman close to him by his waist. His eyes were deep and beautiful, and they represented pain and longing when Aman looked into them.

“Thank you,” he announced, again. Kartik smiled on Aman’s shoulder, knowing that this moment was temporary, and the reality was still the same painful truth. Aman had no memories of their love.

“I’ll take that you will talk to Jaitika. Do you want to go check out the other places... for namesake?” Kartik asked. Aman thought for a while and then nodded. More so because it meant spending the day with Kartik and Aman was getting used to enjoying Kartik’s company more than he should have.

“Ok. I mean, I don’t want your friends accusing you of not showing me the places,” he said, defensively.

“Yeah... yeah!” Kartik whispered.

They continued their day visiting the other places Kartik had sought to show Aman. They had been carefully curated by the boy and by the time they reached their fifth place, Aman was thoroughly confused. All those places were to Aman’s liking and yet so unique in their own identity. Each place had a different thing that appeased Aman and he was now uncertain which place to finalize. They stopped midway to grab lunch at the same vadapav stand.

Aman not only grew accustomed to Kartik’s company, but they shared meaningful conversations about everything ranging from politics to sports. Aman was pleasantly taken aback because of the level to which Kartik knew and understood him and he began to partially understand why his older self must have fallen for this precious-hearted boy. He was so pure and transparent. His eyes, no matter how hard Kartik tried, could never hide the love he had for Aman. Seeing that love scared Aman sometimes but amazed him all the other times.

It was dusk by the time they returned to Rajni’s house. Kartik dropped dead on the couch while Aman made sandwiches and poured juice for the both of them. Kartik turned the television on as Aman sat on the couch next to him. He had reached his threshold of holding back his feelings. Distracting himself with crappy reality TV could possibly help him deal with it.

“You ever think about what would have happened had I not lost my memories,” Aman muttered under his breath and Kartik’s finger stopped pressing buttons on the remote. He swallowed and looked at Aman who was staring at his ringed fingers in his lap. “Or just... did you ever talk about the whole thing with someone. Nobody ever talks about what happened to you... and it is not fair,” he continued.

“I just had a few broken ribs,” Kartik tried to explain when Aman grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“You know that is _not_ what I meant, Kartik,” Aman sighed and lifted his head up to look at him.

“Yes,” Kartik answered. Aman narrowed his brows in confusion. “I do think about what would have happened if we were still together all this time... and you had your memories intact. And I did talk to Devika about the accident. If you haven’t already noticed, she isn’t the type of person who’d let her best friend go through this alone,” he admitted and looked away, fearing an adverse reaction from his ex-husband.

“I am...”

“Don’t be sorry, Aman. _Tumhari galti nahi hai_. You need to know that. If it is anyone’s fault at all... it is _mine,_ ” Kartik took a deep breath and turned to face Aman, leaning his shoulder on the backrest of the couch. “You know...you did not want to go out that weekend...” he felt a lump in his throat. “You were so adamant that you wanted to stay in and enjoy watching the _Bachelor_ all day...to catch up with the latest season,” Kartik chuckled, and Aman noticed tears forming in his eyes. “I forced you to go away with me to Manesar. _Kabhi kabhi sochta hoon, ki agar tumhari baat suni hoti toh shayad aaj kuch halaat hote._ ” (I wonder if I had listened to you, our situations would be so different) his voice cracked. Aman found his eyes moistening as he sat there watching Kartik break down in front of him.

_“You know what...Kartik? I’ll make you pay for this... you’ll pay for this”, Aman struggled in Kartik’s arms as the latter proceeded to their car. “I just wanted a weekend in. You are so mean,” Aman huffed, wrapping his arms around his husband. Kartik rolled his eyes and dropped Aman on the front seat. He went back into their house and came back a while later with two duffle bags._

_Aman crossed his hands on his chest as they took to the highway on the Friday afternoon. It was going to be another long and adventurous weekend for the Singh-Tripathis._

Aman gasped and opened his eyes. Kartik was still crying in front of him. Aman leaned forward and cupped Kartik’s face in his hands, unaware of what this was doing to Kartik.

“You didn’t force me... I am sure of it. If I loved you as much as the people here and these circumstances make me believe, I must have loved everything you did for me... it is not on you, Kartik. It is not your fault,” he assured, in the best way he could.

\-----

It had been over 2 months since Aman returned to Delhi. With the help of Kartik, he finally rented Jaitika’s place and Kartik began working on the renovations of the place to suit Aman’s requirements and needs. Aman eventually moved out from Rajni’s apartment in Noida into a loft that was attached to the restaurant property. During this time, Kartik and Aman met multiple times, for business and otherwise. They saw each other at RJ’s parties, monthly game nights and whenever Kartik went to Tanay while Aman was still living with Rajni. It bothered the shit out of Aman, but he had no right to say anything to Kartik. Kartik was trying to move on and build a new life for himself after Aman had himself pushed him away. And if that meant that Tanay was going to be a part of his life, Aman had to learn to respect that. There was nothing concrete between Tanay and Kartik, despite going on over five dates. But Aman was no one to judge any of it. They were still trying to figure it out... or _Kartik_ was trying to figure it out.

Nevertheless, Kartik’s association with Tanay didn’t stop Aman from developing a deep dislike for the guy. Every time they bumped into each other on the hallway, Aman made sure he passed some sugar-coated snide remark at him, just to ease his heart that ached more and more every passing day. He had no right to feel anything for Kartik, or so he thought. But, somewhere deep down, he didn’t like men getting closer to Kartik or vice versa. Rajni noticed him and his behavior towards Tanay, but she let it go, hoping that Aman would come clean with her someday. His visions about the supposed flashbacks grew all the more frequent and Aman realized that most of them were memories from the time that he had forgotten. They featured Kartik – well most of them did, and those that didn’t, featured him speaking of Kartik to someone else.

“That is partially the reason I decided to move back to New York. To find answers, Goggle. To find who I am... and what Kartik Singh means to the Aman Tripathi I used to be. And I knew I wouldn’t find these answers in Allahabad with Papa constantly over my head to take rest and have juice and healthy food. It’s been 3 years since the accident, I am perfectly fine. I don’t need supervision anymore. And if I am not fine, I won’t get better now. My body has healed as much as it could,” Aman sighed, putting his drink down on the table as he sat on the other end from Rajni.

“ _Tu yeh keh raha ki_ you are getting your memories back... in flashes?” RJ cleared her throat and blinked rapidly. This was good news. The doctors had told them earlier that Aman’s memories hadn’t been erased and there hadn’t been any permanent damage to his hippocampus, but they had been blocked out due to trauma and there was always a miniscule chance that he could get them back if the block somehow lifted.

“Yeah... yeah, I think so. Those visions don’t look like dreams or fantasies. They’re very real. Very vivid and real and sometimes they just scare me to death. They all have Kartik, and I don’t know what to do because he is just so,” Aman admitted, recalling the one he had when Kartik had told him about his unwillingness to go camping the weekend they had their accident.

“Have you told Kartik about it? About... about these memory visions,” RJ shot her next obvious question that made Aman roll his eyes.

“Of course, _nahi,_ Goggle. How can I tell this to Kartik of all people?” Aman gasped. “He’s been through enough drama because of me and now that he is finally moving on with someone else,” Aman frowned, thinking about Tanay. “ _Main usse wapas nahi kheechunga, kamse kam iss stupidity ke liye toh nahi._ I mean, it’s not like I remember everything about him or us. I certainly don’t remember being in love with him and I might never. So, _main usse hope nahi de sakta_ only to shatter it all over again,” Aman added, definitively. Rajni smiled, seeing the growing concern for Kartik in Aman’s heart, which she doubted if he was himself aware of.

“ _Mujhe laga ki tum friends ho ab,_ so you’d tell him about these visions,” she shrugged. “He’s the one person who could corroborate and tell you if they’re real or just something your mind is making you see.”

“Believe me... _main chahta hoon usse baat karna_. Like you said, only he can tell me if they’re real or it is just a figment of my imagination. But I don’t think that talking to Kartik would solve anything for me. It won’t solve anything for him, for sure. He’s a great guy and a very good friend... and I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have”. Rajni agreed with that and she knew that in all this stupid drama, Kartik was the one who had suffered the most. “Now that I have gotten to know him again, I can only imagine what he must have gone through, reading that letter I sent him along with the divorce papers, Goggle. He must have been destroyed,” Aman shut his eyes recapitulating what he had written in the letter.

“Don’t put this on yourself, Aman. It wasn’t your fault that that drunk driver drove his lorry into your car, and it is not your fault that you lost your memories after that awful injury. We’re all, including Kartik, glad that you’re alive with us. And he is also glad that you’re back, even if it is super hard for him,” Goggle shuddered remembering Kartik and Aman tied to tubes and machines when they found them at the hospital after the accident. “I don’t think Kartik blames you for wanting a divorce either. I know he was heartbroken when he saw that letter and it’s fair. You are the love of his life,” Aman tried to not linger on the ‘ _are_ ’ that Rajni had let slip. “He was devastated, but he understood why you did what you did. And, he is a strong boy and knows that we’re all there for him, including you,” she tilted her head.

“I know that. But I can’t help but think.”

“Don’t. _Itna mat soch. Kuch kar toh sakte nahi past ka, so why need to worry for it?_ ”

“Mm. I forgot about the most of my past, can’t really let go what I do remember. It’s all I have... all that is left of Aman Tripathi and the guy I used to be,” Aman dropped his head down to stare at his drink. He knew in his heart that Kartik would rush back to him the moment he told him about these visions and Aman didn’t want that. He didn’t want Kartik to have his expectations crushed once again when he himself wasn’t sure if he would ever get his feelings back too.


	5. Dil Mein Ho Tum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an early update because we're all stuck in quarantine anyway. hope y'all are safe.

It was another games and movie night at Rajni’s house on a Saturday evening and everyone was waiting for Kartik to show up so that they could start off their party. Kartik was supposedly on a date with Tanay next door, but he had promised to show up for games night after that. Arjun and his boyfriend had decided to skip this one because they were in Bangalore to celebrate his boyfriend’s parents’ wedding anniversary. Devika and Ravi had just returned from their shifts at the hospital while Aman had taken a day off from the renovation at his new restaurant property. He also hadn’t met Kartik in over a week and was particularly excited to see him because he had missed his stupid face and just being around him while Kartik worked. Lately, they had been spending a lot of time together because Kartik was the chief architect on the assignment. Aman missed him so much that it was pretty evident on his own.

His face, therefore, naturally lit up when he saw Kartik drop his coat at the door as he made his way in. Everyone yelled at him for being so late and he just raised a brow and crossed his hands on his chest, “I just broke up with Tanay. Be a little considerate?” he announced. Devika scoffed it away with an “I knew this was gonna happen sooner or later” face and there was a genuine smile on Ravi’s face. Kartik rolled his eyes because he knew how fond people were of his boyfriend. “I guess that calls for celebration considering how much you loved him. Pass me on a drink please... I’d love one tonight,” he taunted. The gang booed him together while Aman was more than relieved to hear it, and he was cursing himself for feeling this way.

“Did he burp while eating or click his tongue to summon the waiter at a restaurant?” he said, absent-mindedly. Kartik gasped loudly because Aman wasn’t supposed to know that. At least  _ this _ Aman wasn’t. He shouldn’t have had those memories in the first place. Aman couldn’t tell him that he had had a vision about them going on a date a few days ago and it had fluffed his heart with so much happiness.

“Among other things... yes. He did click his tongue and snapped his fingers to call the waiter,” Kartik narrowed his brows taking a seat next to his ex-husband. Aman inwardly slapped himself for blurting out his thoughts rather loudly.

“I am so sorry that came out wrong... are you... are you ok?” Aman realized that taunting Kartik wasn’t the best way to start a conversation with someone who had just broken up. Boyfriend or not, Kartik and Tanay did like each other, and break ups were never not heartbreaking.

“Don’t be,” Kartik smiled at him and then looked back at his drink. “It was bound to happen sooner or later,” he shrugged it off, lifting his glass up to take a sip.

“If you want to talk about it... I am here!” Aman’s hand found Kartik’s fingers under the table and he wrapped his own around them, squeezing them slightly. Kartik swallowed and looked at Aman, his eyes searching for Aman’s old self somewhere in his eyes. He momentarily stared at his ex-husband and then looked away, shutting his eyes and the pain away.

“Thank you for saying that,” he mumbled under his breath.

They moved ahead with game-night while Kartik explained the other reasons why things went wrong with Tanay. Other than being wildly possessive and obsessive, Tanay did not like Kartik hanging out with Aman because apparently, Aman eyed Kartik more than he should have. This conversation happened rather softly and just between the two men. Nobody other than Devika heard the rest of why Kartik and Tanay weren’t together, because Kartik’s best friend had super sharp hearing.

“I mean seriously... Aman? I did tell him about you and me but that was because I wanted to be honest to him, about my past and everything that he deserved to know. But he just took them to a completely different angle,” Kartik scoffed as he narrated the details and rubbished any such accusations on Aman because he had forgotten everything for them to have any connection with each other. Aman cleared his throat and continued to fake a smile even though he knew that he hadn’t been completely honest with his ex-husband either.

“It is ok, Kartik. Not every guy you meet is going to be marriage material,” Devika winked and added, and then closed her eyes as both Kartik and Aman became awkward. Too soon.

After game night, everyone gathered around the TV and Rajni put on the latest installment of Insidious. Kartik and Aman settled below the couch together, wrapping their legs in a single blanket.

“I  _ fucking  _ hate horror movies,” Aman cringed as the title rolled in. Kartik chortled softly and leaned closer to Aman. “Goggle always makes me do this. I don’t see the reason why we can’t watch a romcom or I don’t know, an action movie for that matter,” he complained, and Kartik just hit his shoulder with his fist.

“I know. Just close your eyes when there’s creepy background music and you’ll be fine. My hand is always here for you to break it off squealing,” he whispered, hiding a naughty smile under his nose. Aman looked at Kartik under the blue hue of the movie that was hitting Kartik’s face amidst the darkness in the room. His big eyes were staring right through Aman’s soul with a knowing look in them – a look that Aman had gotten used to. Kartik knew things about Aman that he himself was still rediscovering and somewhere between meeting Kartik at Rajni’s birthday party and today, Aman had gotten used to being amazed by this man. He smiled and looked back towards the television, shifting a little closer to Kartik. Kartik extended his hand out on the couch and Aman threw his head back, resting his neck on his biceps. It felt familiar and normal and Aman was surprised as to how much he wanted this for himself.

Somewhere during the movie, Aman and Kartik shifted dangerously close to each other and Aman buried his face in Kartik’s neck. Kartik curled his hand back and wrapped his arm around Aman’s shoulder and rested his cheek on his hair as they continued watching the movie. Rajni and Devika noticed them and smiled, things were feeling and looking normal in a very long time.

By the time the credits rolled in, Aman was snoring on Kartik’s chest. Kartik rubbed his eyes sleepily and pulled his hand away to gently leave without waking Aman up, but Rajni yawned and told him to stay for the night. She threw two pillows at him and an extra blanket and turned the lights off. Kartik placed one below on the ground and pushed another one under Aman until his head rested on it. He took his legs out of the blanket they were sharing and wrapped it around Aman. Placing his own pillow next to Aman, Kartik pulled the fresh blanket over him and dosed off.

Sun rays hit Aman’s eyes and woke him up early in the morning before anyone else did. He groaned and stretched his hand out and yawned. He opened his eyes to find Kartik’s face right in front of him. The realization that Kartik was sleeping next to him made him jerk back. Aman inspected his surroundings and found him comfortably resting on a pillow which was tucked very close to Kartik’s pillow. Devika and Ravi were cuddled together on the couch while Keshav was sleeping on the other end of the carpet. 

He lifted his hand gently and placed his palm on  Kartik ’s cheek reveling his sharp cheekbones.  Kartik ’s eyes were only half-closed, and he was snoring softly.  His skin was soft and smooth. It was slightly warm, and  Aman felt  his arteries thumping below his touch.  Aman cupped his cheek and used his thumb to make circles below  Kartik ’s eyes.  His eyelids fluttered, and he cuddled further into the pillow, almost startling  Aman . Kartik was in deep sleep and he looked so beautiful.

“What are you Kartik Singh?”, Aman moaned in his raspy morning voice. He was beginning to notice why his other self must have fallen so recklessly in love with his hazel-eyed architect. His eyes went down to Kartik’s lips which were the perfect shade of pink and peach. They looked plump and soft and so kissable. He used to call the missing five years of his life as his  _ other life.  _ And, Aman was sure that he had kissed Kartik multiple times in this said other life, but the depressing thing was – he didn’t remember how it felt to have Kartik’s lips between his own. “What have you done to me?”, he moaned and pressed the tip of his nose against Kartik’s unaware of what was driving him to feel this way for Kartik.

Two years ago, Aman’s life had turned upside down when Shankar revealed his husband to him. Up till then, he knew that he had lost a few years of his life but knowing that he had lost memories of the man he had been in love with scared Aman so much that he decided to send divorce papers to this Kartik Singh to get rid of any and all the thoughts that concerned Aman about Kartik.

Aman leaned closer to  Kartik and trailed his fingers up to  Kartik ’s hair to move it away from his forehead. Crease lines appeared on  Kartik ’s forehead a nd he twitched in his sleep , in response to  Aman ’s .

> _ Kartik _ _ walked into his apartment  _ _ after work and found a bunch of letters in mailbox. He took them out and started shuffling through them, reading the sender’s details until a particular letter from Seattle caught his attention. It was sent by  _ _ Aman _ _.  _ _ Kartik _ _ ’s eyes gleamed with joy and he tore apart the seal. There were a couple of neatly folded papers inside. He opened the one that was written in  _ _ Aman _ _ ’s handwriting first. _
> 
> Mr  Singh , ( Kartik ’s heart sank right there)
> 
> I have a feeling that you might have been waiting for this letter or a phone call for over a year now and I would like to begin by apologizing for not doing so earlier. My father just told me about... about you... a few weeks ago... and I wanted to take some time before I contacted you with my decision. I know I should have rather called if not meeting you face-to-face, but I don’t think I would have been able to say what I am about to. So, please forgive me for what has already happened and what I am about to do right now. The last year has been a trying time for me and my family. But you already know that. I hope you yourself have recovered from the accident and are in excellent health right now.
> 
> Papa showed me our wedding photographs a couple days ago and believe me, I was surprised to say the least. I wasn’t able to imagine myself as a man who had decided to settle down in his life, but I apparently did. Anyway. It’s truly devastating that I don’t remember any of our time together, otherwise this wouldn’t be as difficult for me as it is right now. I thought about meeting you so that we can talk personally but I realized I couldn’t do it either because I have nothing to say to you except that I am sorry for how things have become. None of us deserved that.
> 
> Its been a year since the accident and my memories are still on the loose. I have lost hopes and patience that I will ever get them back and I cannot ask you to wait for me any longer than you already have. You don’t owe me that. You are free to move on and live your life to the fullest,  Kartik . I also cannot keep myself tethered to the past that I know nothing about because the mere thought of it is revolting.  So, I am enclosing divorce papers with this letter. You should find someone who can love you back,  Kartik . Not someone who is struggling to remember what he did in the last 5 years. It is not fair to you. 
> 
> I hope you will understand my decision as well as where I am coming from. I only want the best for you and for myself . I hope you  will  have a happy life ahead,  Kartik . You deserve to be loved.
> 
> Aman Tripathi .
> 
> _ Kartik _ _ stopped reading the letter and rubbed away the tears that had blurred his vision. His hands were shaking by the time he found the courage to unfold the other set of papers. They were indeed divorce papers which had already been signed by  _ _ Aman _ _.  _ _ Kartik _ _ sucked his trembling lip inside and lifted his head up. He watched the ceiling while tears trickled down and closed his eyes shut. _

Aman was playing with  Kartik ’s hair when the latter’s eyes shot open all of a sudden,  shocking  Aman who jerked back suddenly retracting his hand .  Kartik ’s breathing was rather  heavy, and his forehead was sticky with sweat . He looked at  Aman in horror and then instinctively leaned closer, wrapping his arms tightly around  him .  Aman gasped and rubbed the back of  Kartik ’s head with his palm with the other making comforting patters on his back

“Hey... what’s wrong?” Aman whispered, caressing his head with his fingers. “Kartik? Are you alright?”

“I had a very... very bad nightmare,” he mumbled in his raspy voice. 

“I am here... I am here, Kartik. Look at me,” Aman cupped Kartik’s face and patted his cheeks softly to wake him up. “Kartik,” Aman hissed, and the other man stopped shivering. “It was just a bad dream... come on! Wake up,” he pulled Kartik closer and pushed his head into his neck. They remained curled up in one another until Kartik’s breathing evened and he calmed down. The architect gently pulled away from Aman and sat up straight on the floor.

“I am sorry,” he closed his eyes with his palm, guilt flooded in every word he said. “I am sorry,” he repeated and stood up before Aman could reply. Grabbing his coat from the hook, he opened the door and left Rajni’s house. 


	6. Woh Lamhe Woh Pal Hum Har Pal Yaad Karenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kartik has the flu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any similarity with the current health scenario in the world is coincidental, lol. i wrote this fic 3 years ago and never thought we'd be here.

Aman looked at his phone and then at the building in front of him, that definitely looked like the address that Rajni had given. Aman hadn’t seen Kartik since last Sunday when he had dashed out of Rajni’s place after being embarrassed about the nightmares. The chef was anxious as well as eager to see the man and talk it out so that things went back to being less awkward. He knew Kartik would be home because he had attempted to check his firm that morning and Kartik’s assistant had informed him that _Mr Singh_ was working from home for the last couple of days. 

Aman knocked at the door and waited anxiously as he heard footsteps approaching. His heart was throbbing in his chest at the prospect of meeting Kartik after such a long time – well, okay, just three days. But that was beside the point. Kartik stuck his head out after unlocking the door and his sick face was both surprised and shocked to see Aman. Aman, on the other hand, cheekily smiled as if gesturing _“surprise!”._

“What are you? How did you? RJ gave you the address, didn’t she?” he sighed. His cough-clogged voice was so adorable and so was his nose which was shiny red. Aman lifted his brows realizing that Kartik had a severe flu. Kartik lifted the tissue he was holding and sneezed into it. “You shouldn’t be here... I have,” and he sneezed again before completing his statement. 

“Flu,” Aman completed the sentence for him. “You mind?” Aman raised a brow and pushed the door open. Kartik stepped aside as Aman conveniently entered his apartment, hanging the coat on his way. There were blankets and sweaters scattered on the sofas and the couch. Papers, rulers and blueprints were dispersed all around the table where Kartik assumingly worked. Aman looked around the apartment. It was a studio with an open kitchen area. One of the walls was completely covered in glass and Delhi was beautifully visible from when you withdrew the curtains. Aman stopped in his tracks and turned back to find Kartik following him, albeit with very short steps, to keep his distance. The entire furnishing of the house was in white board and it was classy and reeked of Kartik’s taste. 

“I had taken a flu shot the last time I went to see the doctor. I’ll be fine, Kartik. You look like you need some help and caring. Also, we need to talk about my restaurant, but that can wait,” Aman tilted his head and smiled. Kartik nodded and closed his eyes involuntarily to sneeze again. Aman snapped his eyes shut with reflex with Kartik’s sneeze. “I went to your firm this morning. Your assistant told me that you were working from home. Now, I understand why. Were you resting? Did I disturb your sleep or something?” Aman inquired, throwing a series of questions at him. 

“NO!” he responded. “I was actually working on the building plans for your restaurant. This flu isn’t letting me go out to the firm for work, and I can’t postpone assignments any longer than I already have,” Kartik sighed, dropping wearily on the couch. Aman clicked his tongue and leaned forward to feel Kartik’s forehead. It was slightly warmer than usual. 

_“Tujhe fever bhi hai thoda sa, jaanta hai na?”_ Aman reprimanded. (You know that you also have a fever, right?)

“ _Main theek hoon. Tum jao yahaan se,_ ” (I am fine. Go away, please.) Kartik mumbled, throwing his head back on the backrest. “What are you doing here anyway?” he shot his eyes open and craned back to locate Aman who was now standing on his kitchen counter looking for something in his cabinets. 

“I came to check on you. You haven’t spoken to me all week,” Aman exclaimed and then stopped, clearing his throat. That almost sounded like Aman had missed his ex-husband. “I mean... we haven't spoken about the building plans...and such. _Last time toh mujhe dekh ke aise bhaag gaye the ki jaise bhoot dekha ho,_ ” (Last time we met, you ran away as if you had seen a ghost.) he corrected himself. Kartik sniffed and nodded. 

“Yeah. Been a little tied up,” he complained making Aman chuckle. “ _RJ ke ghar jo hua, I am sorry for that._ It was just a horrible dream.” (I am sorry for what happened at Rajni's place.)

“KARTIK?” Aman interrupted. “It’s fine. _Sabko aate hai bure sapne._ (Everyone has nightmares.) Don’t think too much. It is in the past. Ok? You’re allowed some moments of letting your guards down. So, just suck it up and forget about it,” Kartik gulped and nodded, not expecting this sort of a reaction out of Aman. 

“Ah! _Yeh raha!_ ” (There it is!) Aman face lit up as he pulled his head out of a cabinet holding a bunch of packets in his hand. Kartik widened his eyes, looking at his ex-husband quizzically. “I’ll make you some soup and then we can talk about it, discuss your flu stories. I am sure you have some interesting ones. We all do, don’t we?” Aman winked and turned on the induction. “ _Cream and onion’s tera favorite flavor hai na_ , right?” (Cream and onion's your favorite flavor right?) Aman jumped ahead...reading the flavor from the packets that were stacked very neatly in his hands. He flipped them over hastily and picked out the one he wanted. 

“Yeah...” Kartik gasped. _“Tumhe kaise pata?”_ (How do you know?)

Aman was trapped and he panicked. “Devika told me... _jab saath shopping gaye the na?_ ” (Devika told me, when we went shopping.) he pretended to shrug it off. Kartik nodded and turned his head back up to face the television in front of him. He closed his books and stacked the papers together to clear his work area. Lifting the remote up, he turned the television on and put National Geographic. Aman heaved a sigh in relief. Kartik had taken the bait. He wasn’t in suspicion. A while later, he brought a tray full of piping hot soup and sat on the couch next to Kartik. Kartik extended his hand to grab the bowl when he sneezed again, surprising Aman into spilling a little soup out of the bowl. 

“Let me...help you with that,” Aman chuckled and pushed Kartik’s shoulder back. “ _Aadha soup tumhari shirt pee jayegi if you do this on your own. Lao do,”_ (Half of the soup with soak your t-shirt if you attempt to drink it on your own, Kartik) he added with a chortle. He lifted the bowl in his hand and scooped a spoonful of soup. He blew air onto the spoon to cool it down and then offered it to Kartik who was staring at him. The eyes were red and swollen from the flu, but they were also sad. Aman closed his eyes for a millisecond and took a deep breath. 

Kartik looked at Aman holding a spoon close to his lips and his mind wandered to the time when they would feed each other lovingly and cuddle on the bed or their favorite couch with their cat, **Cuddle**. Speaking of. Kartik craned his neck around to locate his fluffy ball of happiness and found it rolled into itself on his bed. He had been too tired to notice Aman walk in the apartment or else he wouldn’t have stopped purring. As he opened his mouth to take the spoonful in, he looked at Aman who was now staring at him with his deep brown eyes. 

Kartik was puzzled. 

There was concern in those eyes and an emotion that Kartik thought he’d never see again – affection and adoration. He hadn’t seen that look in his eyes in almost half a decade and there was no way now that Aman could have his memories back. It’s been far too long. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, swallowing the hot soup down his throat. The warmth of the dish brought him so much relief. 

“Anytime,” Aman whispered. They sat there on the couch while Aman finished making Kartik drink the soup. He cleaned the mess after they were done, and the clanking of the plates in the dishwasher woke Kartik’s cat up. The little devil jumped right over the counter at the prospect of food and some mischief when the hair stood straight up as it registered an unknown entity where Kartik was supposed to be. A slight purr brought Aman’s attention to this Persian breed beauty. 

“Hi,” he gasped and smiled at the same time. Cuddle was a beautiful and furry feline. His eyes, on the contrary, were serious but full of mischief. The cat’s hair dropped back close to its skin and his eyes widened. He knew this human. In fact, he had loved this human with all his feline heart. And might have missed him, if his nature would have so allowed. Kartik watched as Cuddle trotted close to his previous owner and softly lifted her forelimbs to climb onto him. Aman grinned and looked at Kartik who nodded and asked him to go ahead. 

He wasn’t surprised. Although Cuddle was the type of a cat who hated being picked up and carried around, but he always enjoyed when it was Aman doing it. Kartik gazed as Cuddle played around in Aman’s arms, just like he used to, and even craned his head up to lick Aman’s nose who just grinned and let Cuddle coddle him. 

“Aman... meet Cuddle,” Kartik introduced them, _again_. 

“Hi Cuddle,” Aman said, again but this time more adoringly. He picked Cuddle high up in the air and then adjusted its position to cuddled it into his neck where the cat obliged. “I am sorry I forgot you. You really didn’t deserve it, neither of you did,” he whispered into his ear stealing a glance at his ex-husband. Cuddle purred in complaint and Aman just fell in love with the little one. “You’re so beautiful,” he exclaimed bringing Cuddle back to the couch with himself. 

“You are the only person he ever allowed to carry him around in your arms,” Kartik informed proudly. 

“I feel honored Mr Cuddle,” Aman told Cuddle. The cat settled on Aman’s lap and dozed off to sleep a few minutes after it was tired of playing with him. Aman looked at Kartik who was watching the _Wild Cats_ documentary. His head was tugged in the cushion and he looked like he would fall asleep at any time. 

“Kartik? Do you want to go to bed maybe? You look like you’ll fall asleep any time now. _Tumhari aankhein bhari bhari lag rahi hai,_ ” (Your eyes look heavy.) Aman whispered very softly as he pressed his hand on Kartik’s shoulder. 

“I want to finish watching this,” he requested, letting out a loud yawn. 

“You can watch it tomorrow morning. I’ll put the series on recording for you. Come on, up now. Onto the bed, Mr Singh,” Aman lifted the sleeping Cuddle in his arms and put it down comfortably on the couch. He curled his tail around itself and purred softly snoring back to sleep. Then, Aman forced Kartik to sit straight up. “You’re going to doze off now and I don’t want you spraining your neck by sleeping on this rather uncomfortable cushion, Kartik. Please, c’mon,” he grabbed Kartik’s hand and pulled him up. Kartik let out a long groan and finally stood up letting himself being dragged to the bed by Aman. 

The man helped Kartik get under the covers and kneeled on the floor next to him, tucking him securely in the duvet. Kartik licked his lips and closed his eyes as Aman caressed his forehead with his fingers, removing the strands of hair that had messily fallen over. 

“ _Yaha aane ke liye thank you,_ ” (Thank you for being here.) he whispered as sleep stared taking over him. “I appreciate it. I really do,” he mumbled. 

“Anytime, Kartik. Anytime”, Aman responded. 

“I wish you could stay with me,” _forever_ remained unsaid. After that, Kartik tilted his head away from Aman and dozed off whistling out a deep breath. Aman moved his hand down to hold Kartik’s palm which was pressing on his stomach. He squeezed it tightly and sat there pondering. 

\----- 

Three days later, Kartik opened the door of his apartment in the morning and found Aman standing in front of it, again. Two times in three days – Kartik was pleasantly surprised. 

“Hi?” he narrowed his brows, uncertain if Aman was interested in seeing him again or just discuss about his restaurant. Aman smiled and lifted the food packet in his hand which smelled like delicious Chinese food. “Aman... what are you doing here at this hour?” 

“I heard you liked _Delhi ke momos_ . I also wanted to meet you naughty little Cuddle again...and _maybe you_ _,_ ” Aman admitted, excited to meet Kartik’s little one who had stolen his heart on their first meeting. Well, he wasn’t the only one who had stolen Aman’s heart, but this was a conversation to be had some other day. 

“Are you kidding? _Mujhe sirf momos pasand nahi, I am obsessed AF_ _,_ ” Kartik’s eyes widened, and he snatched the packet out of the Aman’s hand ignoring the _maybe you_ that Aman had let slip out of his mouth. “ _Chal, andar aaja,”_ he yelled walking back into the apartment. Aman noticed how Kartik had not used the _tum_ endearment for him. “CUDDLE!” he called out to his cat. “Look who is here to see you! C’mere!!” he lifted his chin up to find the animal and clapped softly to summon him. Cuddle peeked out from below his bed and leaped out as soon as it registered Aman's image in his little mind. 

Aman’s arms were extended as he let Cuddle jump into them. He giggled and lifted the cat up, gently rubbing through its fur. “Yeah, I missed you too, little one,” the cat purred softly. Kartik unsealed the food packet with scissors and took out two dishes to serve the food. 

“ _Main na soch raha tha, uss arch ke baare mein,_ _you might be right_ _,”_ (So I had a thought, about that arch you were talking about?) Aman continued, joining Kartik in the kitchen as the latter was laying down food for them. He opened his other fridge and took out two beer bottles to go with the momos. 

“ _Dekha!_ ” Kartik yelped, triumphantly. “ _Main jaanta hoon tumhari preferences_ , (I told you I know your preferences) Aman, the arch would have blocked a lot of sunlight and you wouldn’t have liked the gloominess. That’s just not who you are,” he winked, clicking his tongue. Aman lifted the beer bottle and took a large gulp. Clearing his throat, he nodded in agreement. “Is that why you brought me momos though? To tell me that I am right. You could’ve done that without them. I am a very simple man, my love,” Kartik bit his tongue hearing “my love” coming out of his own mouth and looked away to hide his embarrassment. That was such an Aman thing to say, not a Kartik thing. 

“ _Jaise ki maine kaha tha_ _, I wanted to_ _check on you too_ and meet that little devil Cuddle. _Aur uske baad_ _,_ if my mood permitted, maybe accept that you were right all along. It isn’t the easiest thing to do,” Aman winked back, pretending to have ignored Kartik’s endearment. Kartik’s lips curved up in a lop-sided grin as he offered one dish of momos to Aman. 

“Cuddle! Come to Dad. It is time for food!” laid out his hand for the cat to jump on him but the little devil climbed up Aman’s neck and hissed at his father. “Did you just?” Kartik popped his eyes open in amazement and gasped. Aman covered his mouth with his palm and chortled. “Cuddle, come on! Stop showing off,” Kartik gritted his teeth and called to the cat again. This time, he actually growled at his father and jumped on the floor, running away from Kartik. “Cuddle!” Kartik yelled behind the cat who sprinted across the room on its padded paws and hid in one corner, hissing softly. 

“Let him be, Kartik,” Aman chuckled, unable to hold his laughter. “I don’t think he is in the mood for anything but drama right now.” 

“ _Ye sab tumhari galti hai. Tumhari pampering ne bigada hai,_ ” (This is all on you. You've pampered and spoilt him.) Kartik announced, in the spur of a moment. Aman cleared his throat and hugged himself, wrapping his arms around his chest tightly. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean that,” Kartik blurted out. 

“Kartik,” Aman tilted his head in one direction. “You need to stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. Ok?” 

“Mm,” Kartik flashed a weak smile. They settled on the couch facing each other. Kartik was nervously digging into his food, unsure of how to start a conversation with Aman. He had gotten better with handling Aman around him, but it was still very hard for him to be in love with Aman but not show it up front. 

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” Aman made it easier by breaking the silence between them as he put a momo in his mouth. Kartik narrowed his brows and shook his head. “How did... I... the other me, meet you for the first time?” 

Kartik choked on his beer and widened his eyes. “Do you... like... do you really want to know Aman?” 

“Yes... I do. I want to know how we met!” Aman assured. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it. I’ll understand.” 

“I don’t mind talking about one of the fondest memories of my life,” he responded, almost immediately. Aman smiled and nodded. “So, we met at... we met at Ravi’s hospital actually. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic way to meet someone you would fall in love with and go on to marry _but phir baaki sab theek raha,_ ” (But it was all good in the end.) Kartik’s grin widened as he recalled one of the fondest memories of his life. “It was the hospital’s Founder’s Day celebration party and Devika and I had both been invited by Ravi. They had just started dating and he wanted to know her friends better,” Kartik shook his head, curving his lips upwards. Aman bit his lip and smiled. Kartik leaned back in one corner of the couch, relaxing himself. “You had come to the party along with Ravi, in place of RJ _shayad acche se yaad nahi_ but she had an emergency at the café,” Kartik raised his chin up to recall the peculiarities. Aman inquisitively leaned on the backrest of the couch and spread his arm right on top of it, listening carefully. 

“So, Ravi kinda dragged Devika to an empty table where you were supposedly waiting for Ravi’s girlfriend, and I tagged along because he wanted all of us to _get_ _along,_ ” Kartik finger-quoted and wiped his mouth. “You weren’t there at the time. Ravi told us that his friend had gone to get them drinks and so, we started talking. Devika was smiling throughout and even though I was listening to him, I also somehow wasn’t. In all his stupidity and naivety, I could see the way he looked at Devika and there was just so much admiration for her and so much respect. And that’s frankly all I had ever wanted for her. So, I was passing time, pretending to listen to him when I see this beautiful man walk up to our table. You were so stunning, Aman.” Kartik sighed. Aman realized that Kartik was reliving that moment and he was in too deep to realize that he was talking about Aman. 

“I couldn’t keep myself from staring at you. You were standing right behind Ravi, holding three glasses of champagne together when he just waved his hand above his head and one of the glasses toppled onto your shirt, soaking you completely,” he chuckled softly, recalling every detail of that eventful night. Aman looked at Kartik and he scoffed just because Kartik had evoked that response in him. “And then you became so mad at him,” Kartik covered his mouth to hold his laughter. “You poured the other two glasses of champagne on his head,” The corner of Kartik’s eyes crinkled as he broke into a stronger giggle. 

“After that, you rushed straight into the men’s room. And before I knew what was happening, I was right behind you, following you inside. You were cursing him left right and center, and I couldn’t help but just stare at you while you washed your shirt to remove the stain,” Kartik admitted, feeling a blush creep on his cheeks. 

“At some point, you decided to look up from the washbasin and finally notice me. I gave you a towel, and you just smiled and walked away, saying nothing. But I had been so smitten that I stood there awhile, smiling and ruffling my hair like a stupid idiot,” he looked to his side to see if Aman was still with him and felt Aman’s fingers playing with his hair. 

“Like that?” Aman asked in the softest tone possible. Kartik closed his eyes for a bit, taking in the sensation of Aman caressing him and then opened his lids again. Aman was still very much there. He wasn’t imagining it. Aman’s head was resting on his arm laid out on the backrest of the couch. 

“Yeah,” Kartik choked on his own spit. 

“So beautiful,” Aman remarked, his eyes twinkling and glistening with joy. There was no way Kartik was imagining this look in his ex-husband’s eyes. Something was changing between them. Something was changing in Aman. “You wore your favorite smoky grey shirt that day with those acid wash jeans that I hated with everything I have. The first two buttons of the shirt were undone. Devika had told me that she got that shirt for you from her first salary, which is why it was so special for you,” Aman whispered, his pupil flickering as he stared right in Kartik’s eyes. “When Ravi spilt all that champagne on me, I was guilty of not paying attention myself because I was so caught up in those beautiful eyes that were looking at me,” he smiled, making Kartik gasp. 

“You,” he responded, puzzled to complete his sentence. 

Aman used his thumb to rub Kartik’s cheekbone as he leaned closer. “I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn’t gather the needed courage. First impression and I soiled my shirt and made a fool out of myself instead," he scoffed, but Kartik was too wound up on the revelation of Aman recalling the details of the incident that he should have forgotten. 

“You remember that incident?” Kartik choked, and his voice trembled. 


	7. Ek Khwab Ne Aankhein Kholi Hai

“I had a vision last night. It was more like a dream, but I saw you, Kartik,” Aman said admittedly, making an amazed smile appear on Kartik’s face. “I was not sure if this was real incident that I had forgotten, or I was just that attracted to you so much that I had reached the stage of dreaming about you when I am not around you,” he crawled closer, placing his free hand on Kartik’s thigh, making the latter jump slightly. “ _Main tumhara dil nai todna chahta tha, Kartik,” (_ I didn’t mean to break your heart, Kartik) tiny drops of tears appeared in his eyes. He bent forward and buried his face in Kartik’s neck, wrapping his arm around Kartik’s chest. “ _I don’t know ki mujhe kabhi bhi yaad aayenge wo 5 saal, lekin,”_ (I don’t know if I will ever remember all of the forgotten five years of my life) he moaned, snuggling closer to his ex-husband. He was well-aware that he had no right to be that close to Kartik until the latter so desired, but he just couldn’t help it. His presence near him calmed him down. 

“Aman, shh. Stop crying,” he rubbed his palm up and down Aman’s back. “ _Main_ _khush_ _hoon_ _, as long as tum_ _theek_ _ho._ I love you. And that is never going to change. Remember that,” he pressed his cheek on Aman’s hair. “I love you so much,” he whispered, and Aman looked up, gasping for breath. Is this how he must have felt when Kartik confessed his love for the old version of him all those years ago? “And loving you doesn’t mean that I expect you to love me back. I mean... _accha_ _lagega_ _if you did_ but loving someone means that you also need to give them the freedom and space to breathe and let them be who they want to be. And if you’re lucky enough, the love will be reciprocated. And if you’re not, it’s still a gift to be able to love someone,” Kartik’s heart wrenched in pain as he felt Aman wrap his arm tighter around him. “So, me loving you doesn’t mean that you are obliged to love me back. I can love you and be thankful that you’re alive, even if that is not with me.” 

“ _Kaise kar lete ho itna pyaar, Kartik. Jitni baar dekhte ho, lagta hai kuch dhund rahe ho. Kisi ko dhund rahe ho. Lekin pyaar karna nahi chhodte,”_ (How do you love me so much? Everytime you look at me, I see that you’re searching for someone!) he mumbled in Kartik’s neck. 

_“_ _Itna_ _mushkil_ _nahi_ _hai_ _,"_ Kartik rolled his eyes, lying to himself. Watching Aman not being in love with him had shaken Kartik to his very core. “In fact, I get the strength for all this out of my love for you,” he said, very proudly, as he pulled himself together. Aman took a deep breath and looked up, albeit still holding onto Kartik. He raised his hand to cup Kartik’s cheek, pressing the tip of his fingers on to the back of Kartik’s neck. He raised himself slightly off the couch, to elevate himself till his eyes were Kartik’s level. His fingers dug in Kartik’s skin, pushing him slightly closer to himself. Aman waited until Kartik’s lips were close enough and slightly parted his lips as the latter drew closer. 

Kartik closed his eyes and his breath hitched, rather loudly. Aman stopped very close to Kartik’s lips to steal one last gaze at this wonderful man and then hastily pressed his lips on to him. He raised his other hand and cupped the other side of Kartik’s cheek, raising himself completely on his knees. Kartik grabbed Aman’s waist to support him as he kissed him back, quenching his thirst to kiss the love of his life. He had waited for Aman to return to him and remember him and their love and kiss him with passion just like he used to do for over three years of his life now. Tears streamed down his eyes soaking his and Aman’s cheeks. Aman felt the warmth and wetness and pulled away to look at Kartik. He used his thumb to wipe the tear drops forming in Kartik’s eyes and mouthed a quick _no_ gesturing very clearly that today wasn’t going to be the day that Kartik suffered or cried. Kartik smiled and nodded acknowledging Aman’s gesture, meanwhile returning to his ex-husband for another kiss. 

None of them noticed how long the kiss lasted or when Aman slowly parted his lips away from Kartik’s and snuggled back in his neck and fell back on the couch. He was feeling at home after so long and even though he still hadn’t gotten his memories back, he was determined to make new ones with Kartik and make sure there wasn’t any room for any more heartbreak between the two of them. It felt like it could be the dawn of a new morning for the two ex-lovers. 

\----- 

Later that evening, Kartik was on a telephonic conference with two clients while Aman was playing with Cuddle in Kartik’s balcony. As the architect moved to and fro in his living room explaining the minute details of his proposal, he stole glances at Aman and realized how ridiculously in love with him he still was. Aman was sitting on the floor of the balcony, holding the cat in his arms. The little devil purred and kneaded incessantly on Aman’s chest. Sometime later, the two boys in Kartik’s life marched back into his studio and pouted, gesturing Kartik to cut the call. Kartik rolled his eyes and turned around with his back to Aman. 

After he whispered a quick _thank you_ to the clients, Kartik hung the call up and turned around to find Aman missing from the couch. He looked around and saw his cat sleeping on his bed, but Aman was nowhere to be seen. Kartik’s heart sank. So, Aman left after being tired of waiting for Kartik. Great. Well done, Kartik Singh! He smacked himself and groaned, dropping on the couch. 

“Kartik?” a familiar voice called from somewhere in the bedroom. Kartik was so hung up on the assumption that Aman had left that he failed to recognize the voice and spat a quick _What!_ to whoever it was that had dared disturb Kartik while he was brooding on Aman leaving. Of course, it could be Cuddle enchanted to speak in a human tongue for a day... in his apartment, or the million-other people who lived there besides him and his little devil. 

Right? 

But then, he lived alone. About time Kartik realized. He popped his eyes open and craned his neck in the direction of the sound. There was rattling in his cupboard and Kartik stood up to see what the hustle was about. He found Aman kneeling in front of his cupboard, looking for something. 

“Aman?” he asked, crossing his arms on his chest. 

“ _Ek_ _spare shirt_ _chahiye,_ ” Aman hummed, focusing on his quest for the said item. Kartik observed Aman struggling around his messy and unkept cupboard and crossed his hands on his chest, waiting for Aman to admit defeat. 

“Wait,” Kartik raised his voice and Aman stopped, tilting his head to look at Kartik through the corner of his eyes. “Allow me?” he offered, and Aman stepped aside. Kartik dug his head inside one of the cabinets of his cupboard and took out a few shirts, whilst laying it out for Aman. Those were all peculiarly colorful ones, with a simplicity that defined Aman. 

“ _Tumhare hi hai, accident se pehle,_ ” Kartik explained, heaving a huge sigh and sat on the floor, crossing his legs. 

_“Tumne bachake rakhi hai?"_ Aman gasped, taking the shirts from Kartik. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Some of them still smell of you. Don’t get creeped out I mean. Whenever I missed you more than I could endure,” Kartik lifted his shoulder and jerked, pursing his lips. Aman closed his eyes and licked his lips. He took a deep breath and smiled, clearing his throat. 

“At least both of my versions have a good taste in fashion!” Aman remarked proudly, and Kartik chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Cuddle decided to knead on my shirt harder than the fibers could tolerate... and voila!” he pointed at a particularly nasty scratch that had pulled the threads of Aman’ shirt. 

“I am so sorry,” Kartik widened his brows. “Cuddle can be really... really mischievous sometimes,” he defended his little animal. 

“Taken after me, I guess,” Aman joked, casually. 

Kartik dropped his gaze on the floor and smiled softly, choosing not to reply to that question. “ _Main_ _Devika_ _aur_ _Arjun_ _ke saath bahar jaa raha tha._ _Do you want to join us_ _?_ ” he lifted his head back up and asked. Aman parted his lips and pressed them onto each other again, not sure of what he was supposed to answer. 

“ _I don’t think_ _wo sahi hoga. Tumhare friends hai and you_ _should_ _spend some_ _time_ _together.”_ he licked his lips and blinked profusely. “Some other time?” 

“They wouldn’t mind... I mean, _agar tum aana chaho_. I don’t want to force you,” Kartik stuttered, adjusting his jeans as he stood back up, followed by Aman who was holding the spare shirt in his hand. Kartik took a step back and rubbed his temple as if something just hit him out of nowhere. “What did we do?” he gasped, all of a sudden. “Aman... I am so sorry what did we do,” he folded his hands together in front of him. “That kiss... I didn’t even ask you... it’s... shit shit shit! Aman!” he turned around cursing himself. Aman couldn’t quiet comprehend what had gotten into the man out of nowhere. He threw the shirt aside and followed Kartik. Squeezing his arm, Aman pulled Kartik back and turned him around to face him. 

His breathing was erratic. 

“Why did you kiss me?” Kartik asked, horrified as he closed his mouth with his palm. 

“ _Main chahta tha kiss karna,_ ” Aman’s voice was soft and comforting, almost as if he was trying to calm Kartik’s nerves down. 

“Why?” Kartik’s voice shook as he spoke. “Because you knew that you used to be in love with me and that is just how things are supposed to be. They’re not, Aman. I don’t want to hold you back. You’re free to go out and –” 

“ _Kitna_ _bolta_ _hai_ _tu_ _,_ ” Aman rolled his eyes, placing his finger on Kartik’s lips. “ _Maine_ _tujhe_ _kiss_ _kiya_ _kyunki_ _main_ _chahta_ _tha_ _tujhe_ _kiss_ _karna_ , alright? I’ve known about our relationship for over two years now and if this was about that, I would have kissed you a long time ago. But the truth is, I like you Kartik. _I_ like you... and _iss_ _baat_ _se_ _mujhe_ _koi fark_ _nahi_ _padta_ _ki_ _humare_ _beech_ _pehle_ _kya_ _hua_ _kyunki_ _wo sab_ _mujhe_ _yaad_ _nahi_ . That truth doesn’t affect _my_ present feelings for you,” Aman came closer and pressed another kiss on Kartik’s lips to assure him. “And if you’ll have me, I’d love to get to know you... again.” 

“I’d love nothing more than to know who you are!” Kartik nodded, closing his eyes. He wanted to take in every moment of this before it became a thing of the past. 

Kartik was smiling now, genuinely smiling. He leaned forward and buried his head in Aman’s neck and let the latter make patterns on his back. “ _Bas, toh phir deal?_ ” he softly mumbled back. 

“How about you come over to my apartment on Saturday?” Aman offered, pulling away from Kartik. 

“Your apartment?” Kartik popped his eyes open. 

“Yes, I’ll make you something and we can watch a movie, with drinks or whatever you want to do?” Aman was exhilarated as he invited Kartik. Kartik fisted his hands behind his back, grinning at the chef. He hadn’t tasted Aman’s food in years now. 

“I’ll be there at 7!” Kartik blushed and looked away attempting to hold back his tears. He had imagined something like this happening a million times in the last couple of years. " _But_ _abhi_ _ka offer still stands,”_ he raised a brow. 

“Like I already mentioned, I don’t want to ruin your time with Devika and Arjun, Kartik. There’s seriously no other reason than that,” Aman said, stepping back towards the bed to grab the spare shirt. Kartik looked away as Aman changed clothes and grabbed his coat to leave. He followed the man to the door and leaned on it as Aman stepped out. 

“I’ll see you on Saturday then!” he beamed with happiness. Kartik returned a wide grin and crossed his hand on his chest. 

“Yeah you will!” Kartik assured. Aman sighed in relief and lurched forward to peck Kartik’s cheek before he proceeded to the staircase. He turned around at the very end of the hall and waved. Kartik licked his lips and waved back, before stepping back into the apartment. 

\----- 

A persistent knock on the door made Aman heart skip a beat. It had to be Kartik. He took a quick look at himself in the mirror. He looked date ready but nervous as hell. Aman had chosen a turquoise blue colored button-up shirt over black skinny leather pants. Taking one final look at himself, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _I can do this. It’s just_ _Kartik_ _._ _He knows who you are... especially your faults, even if you don’t remember them yourself._ _He has seen you at your worse already and there’s nothing to worry about._ He told himself and twisted the doorknob in his hand. The door clicked open and revealed a very well-dressed Kartik Singh standing on the other side. 

He wore a patterned, satin button-up shirt with the top two buttons open and tight black jeans with combat boots. His wrist was adorned with black-beaded bracelets; he wore a silver nosering. Aman swallowed, taking a closer look at the man. Kartik’s hand held a very carefully ribboned bottle of champagne and Aman dropped his head on the edge of the door, just gazing at Kartik. 

“Hi,” he smiled, his mouth drying up. 

“Hi,” Kartik felt a blush creep on his lips and he bit his lower lip, taking it inside momentarily. Aman opened the door and held it out for Kartik, who confidently walked in after handing over the bottle to Aman. A swift movement right behind Kartik alerted Aman as he saw Kartik’s cat scurry inside behind his father. “For a very odd reason, he refused to stay behind. He wouldn’t stop crying every time I locked the door, so I hope you don’t mind?” Kartik sighed. 

“It is perfectly fine, Kartik. Cuddle is always welcome in my home. In fact, I am glad you brought him here. He is, afterall, family,” he beamed as the cat inspected his new surroundings and made himself comfortable in one lonely corner. Kartik took a deep breath and stopped walking. He nervously stuffed his hands in his pocket and turned towards Aman. 

“You look amazing,” he whispered in a very low tone. 

“Please, _ek_ _baar_ _khud_ _toh_ _dekh_ _phir_ _bolna_ _,_ ” Aman licked his lips and walked further to cover the distance between him and his date. He slowed down once he reached sufficiently close to Kartik and stared in his eyes as the latter struggled to catch his breath. “I wasn’t sure about your favorite dish in the Indian cuisine, so I just made what I am best at, so that I don’t make a fool out of myself,” Aman said, nervously. 

“I love everything you make,” Kartik smiled and looked away towards the kitchen. The soft smell of spices was making Kartik salivate. He cleared his throat and walked towards the kitchen and Aman swiftly followed, walking past him to the cabinet to take out champagne glasses. He unscrewed the cork and popped it open, pouring the drink in two glasses. He held out one glass to Kartik. 

“Thank you for agreeing to have dinner with me,” he whispered. “You have no idea how much it means to me...” he added, sighing. 

“Thank you for asking me,” Kartik smiled back and placed his palm over Aman’s palm on the kitchen counter. “For the record, it means as much to me. Don’t ever doubt that,” Kartik added. He wasn’t sure if Aman was ok with this much proximity, but he could try and see where it all went. Aman was gazing at Kartik when the sound of the spices simmering diverted his attention to the pot. He opened the lid and the warm steam laden with the scent of spices engulfed the room. Kartik lifted his chin up and took a whiff, closing his eyes. “Smells unearthly. I can’t wait,” he mumbled. Aman took out a spoon from the cabinet and scooped a conspicuous amount of curry from the boiling pot. Blowing air to cool it down, he lifted the spoon very close to Kartik’s mouth, offering him to have a taste. 

“ _Dekh namak, mirch sab theek?_ ” he asked. Kartik opened his eyes and leaned forward, opening his mouth. “Careful, Kartik. _Garam hai, jal jayega,_ ” he warned. Kartik stopped and stuck out his tongue to inspect the temperature of the curry and then opened his mouth to engulf the spoon. As Aman pulled an empty spoon out of Kartik’s mouth, the latter closed his eyes and hummed. 

“It is perfect,” he announced, and Aman grinned widely. He lifted his thumb to the corner of Kartik’s lips and wiped the remnants of curry from it. Kartik opened his eyes and dropped his head down blushing. Putting the lid back on, Aman walked ahead and covered the distance between him and Kartik. He placed his palm on Kartik’s chest and then rubbed it upwards to curl it around Kartik’s neck, digging his fingers in his neck. Kartik took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Aman’s waist, pulling him closer as Aman stood on his toes and pressed his lips onto Kartik’s. 

Kartik moaned as he trailed his palms up from Aman’s waist and placed it on his shoulder blades. The kiss was deep, and a shiver ran down Aman’s spine. The kiss had longing and happiness, pain and suffering, all merged into one single feeling – passion. They tilted their heads in the other direction and the kiss only deepened. 

. 

> _Aman was watching people hustle on the streets in Noida to get into the cabs and go back home for the upcoming weekend. It had been the most beautiful Friday night of his life and he was now walking back home, holding Kartik’s hand in his own. Life couldn’t be better than that moment. After so many failed blind dates and matchmaking attempts, this was the most wonderful first-date Aman had ever been on. Kartik was certainly the best thing that had happened to him in a very long time. They had gone to the bar for drinks and then proceeded to dance for a bit. Aman noticed that Kartik was pretty good on the dance floor. His moves were swift and flexible and very sexy to look at, with his black shirt folded up to his elbows and three buttons of his shirt, undone – revealing his gorgeous chest and skin. Aman didn’t know that he was the chest-hair type of guy but apparently, Kartik’s chest hair peeking out from his shirt were doing many and surprisingly new things to Aman._
> 
> _As he reached the steps of his building, he turned around and saw_ _Kartik_ _smiling at him, awkwardly._ _“Agar main kahoon ki tum upar chal ke ek coffee piyo mere saath, so what_ _would you say?_ _It is Saturday tomorrow and I don’t have to work at the restaurant_ _,”_ _Aman_ _took a_ _chance_ _._ _Kartik_ _ruffled the hair at the back of his head and blushed_ _, looking away_ _._
> 
> _“I would love to_ _,_ _but Devika is waiting for me at the hospital. Ravi is not in_ _the city_ _at the moment and I have to go pick her up and drive her back home_ _._ _I promised her a very long time ago_ _,"_ _he sighed. “Rain check on the coffee_ _?_ _I had a really good time and I want to do it again_ _,”_ _he asked. Aman pouted and then nodded, unwilling to let Kartik Singh go._
> 
> _“_ _Alright,_ _Devika_ _can take you away this time. But,_ _a_ _p_ _romise_ _on that coffee_ _?”_ _Aman_ _asked_ _,childishly._ _Kartik_ _’s lips curved into a lopsided grin. He leaned forward and cupped_ _Aman’s_ _face, kissing him_ _gently_ _on his lips._
> 
> _“Promise_ _. I can’t wait to spend a night-in with you_ _,_ _and taste some of the amazing food you make_ _,”_ _he breathed against_ _Aman’s_ _lips, making a shiver run down the latter’s spine._
> 
> _Aman_ _gently let him go and gazed as_ _Kartik_ _disappeared at the corner of the street. He shook his head and chuckled._ _Aman_ _Tripathi_ _was in a lot of trouble._
> 
> . 

Aman could hear Kartik calling his name out, but he did not look like he was in control of his own movements. The picture of Kartik disappearing at the corner of the street blurred and became hazy. Moments later, his visions cleared, and he came back to the present only to find Kartik panicking in front of him, holding his phone near his ear. “Hold on, Aman. I am calling the ambulance right now. You just hold on. Everything will be okay.” he huffed and turned around to dial the emergency number. Aman quickly grabbed his arm. 

“Kartik, wait. I am fine,” he breathed, blinking his eyes. 

“You don’t look fine,” Kartik looked scared. There were drops of sweat on his forehead and his pupils had widened. This was the first instance where Aman saw a fear in Kartik’s eyes, a fear of losing Aman. His heart leaped in his chest as he held Kartik by his shoulders and cupped his face eventually. 

“I am alright. Trust me, this was, this was nothing,” Aman flashed a smile and stepped ahead to hug Kartik. Kartik protectively wrapped his arms Aman and squeezed him to his chest. “I am fine. This was nothing, nothing, believe me. Plus, I can’t let an ambulance ruin my first date with you,” he reassured his date. 

“I can’t lose you again, Aman. I don’t care about anything else. I _have_ lost you once... and that’s it. That’s all I can take in one mortal life.” Kartik said, absentmindedly. Aman’s heart ached as he heard those words. He clasped Kartik’s shirt in his fingers and snuggled further in his embrace. 

“You won’t lose me,” Aman whispered. “Ever again,” he reassured. 


	8. Musafir Main Bhatka Tu Mera Basera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry i was supposed to post yesterday but i volunteered to help my mother clean the house and it completely skipped my mind to upload the new chapter.

“I am so sorry for the mess Cuddle must be creating at your place”, Kartik sighed on the phone. He was scuttling in the lobbies of his firm. Since their first date, Kartik had spent a few scattered nights at Aman’ and last night particularly had been a long one. Kartik and Aman spent it watching a couple of movies, much to Cuddle’s disliking. The noise disturbed his sleep and he went on a rampage during the last movie, tearing and kneading at Aman’ precious cushions. Kartik tried to stop him, but Aman laughed, letting the cat extract his revenge from the two boys.

Next morning, the stubbornness continued as the feline refused to leave Aman’s house with his father. Aman was so amused by the antics that he insisted on babysitting Cuddle since he was working from his apartment that day. Kartik was unwilling because Aman didn’t remember what a big trouble Cuddle could sometimes be.

“It’s quite alright, Kartik. I am sure he will listen to me eventually. Well, I hope he does. Otherwise, I am going to have to call an architect to renovate this loft as well. Fortunately, I know someone very capable for the job.”, Aman chuckled as he watched Cuddle snore on the top of his papers, his important property documents. Contrary to what Kartik was expecting, Aman was enjoying this little guy and his tricks.

“Do you?”, Kartik raised a brow and quirked. “Is he any good?”, he questioned, biting his upper lip.

“From what I’ve heard, he’s very good. Very, very good at his job...”, Aman hummed immediately, eliciting a scoff on the other side of the phone.

“I hope you don’t have to use him to renovate your loft. God knows he’s exhausted these days...”, Kartik rolled his eyes.

“He somehow always has time for me. Don’t you worry, Kartik”, Aman assured the architect.

“He seems to really like you?”, Kartik winked.

“I am beginning to think so too...”, Aman ascertained.

“I swear to God, one day I am going to go to jail because of something that he does”, Kartik rolled his eyes dramatically. “Anyways, I’ll see you after work alright? My place?”, the architect narrowed his brows.

“It’s a date”, Aman chimed, putting his phone down.

\-----

Aman was sitting on the couch in Kartik’s studio apartment, waiting for him to return. Cuddle had been so exhausted after his day of kneading at everything that was cushiony in Aman’s loft that he fell asleep on their way back to Kartik’s, and Aman settled him on his comfy bed in the corner of the living room. He was scrolling through the channels, trying to find something worth watching when he landed on _Shark Tank_ and stopped. One of the visions that he had had included Kartik and Aman fighting over whether or not Mark Cuban and Robert Herjavec were the best Sharks in the entire tank and deserved to be accepted on all the deals they made.

Aman rolled his eyes and chuckled, remembering that crazy dream when the main door of the studio clicked, and Kartik walked in, holding a dozen of files and folders in his hand. Aman sprinted across the room to hold some of the folders and help Kartik out and the man thanked him back by the loveliest smile in the entire universe.

“Hi,” Kartik smiled, looking exhausted. Aman wrapped his arm around Kartik’s waist and pulled him in for a kiss, a short and welcoming one. Kartik hummed as Aman’s lips covered his. He was so overwhelmed with it that he found his grip on his files loosening and he had to catch them midair.

“How was your day?” Aman pulled away and whispered, very close to Kartik’s lips, making the latter shiver.

 _“Usual tha,”_ Kartik sighed, pulling away from Aman momentarily to keep his documents on the table. He turned around and wrapped his arms around Aman’s waist pulling him closer. “Now, I can kiss you properly,” he mumbled, parting his lips to encase Aman’s in them.

“I can’t believe I missed you. It has only been a few hours since you left in the morning, but I missed you,” Aman complained, playing his lips around Kartik’s and teasing him by pulling away every few seconds.

“I missed you too,” Kartik clutched Aman harder, pressing the latter on his chest. Aman flickered his lids and smiled. He dropped his gaze down and buried it in the lapels of Kartik’s blazer, inhaling his deep and intoxicating scent. He pouted and pressed a gently kiss on Kartik’s collar bone that was peeking from his unbuttoned shirt.

“There’s no other place I would rather be, Kartik,” Aman sighed, mumbling a loud hum and nuzzling his nose in the bareness of Kartik’s peeking chest. “You should have told your last client that you have a boyfriend waiting for you at home and he gets very angry if you’re late,” he complained, pouting again.

“Boyfriend,” Kartik asked, popping his eyes wide open. “Are we _boyfriends?_ ”, he sighed, kissing Aman’s eyes. Aman furrowed his brows, confused at the question. He bit his lips and looked away. The architect sought this perfect opportunity to press a kiss on Aman’ cheekbone.

“I love the sound of the word,” he hummed, trailing his lips down to Aman’s carotid, where he gently stuck out his tongue and licked it. Aman jumped in Kartik’s clutches and moaned.

As Kartik slowly loosened his arms around Aman, he took the chance to pull himself off on his toes and wrapped his arms around Kartik’s neck. “Well, I love it too,” he grinned, before pressing his wet lips onto Kartik’s who scoffed and kissed his _boyfriend_ back. They played with each other’s lips, twirling around the room.

“ _You’ve no idea maine tumhe kitna miss kiya hai,_ ” the revelation from Kartik stopped Aman in his tracks and he opened his eyes to look at Kartik who was smiling at him with tearful eyes. He saw the pain in those dark orbs, and he felt this deep urge to wipe the pain away without any further ado.

 _“Jaanta hoon, isliye I promise main ab kahin nahi jaunga,”_ Aman ran his fingers through the curls falling on Kartik’s forehead and pushed them away. Kartik closed his eyes, leaning in on Aman’s palm as it made its way down Kartik’s cheek.

“Please don’t go,” Kartik pleaded, helplessly and unconsciously.

“I promise,” Aman hummed and pressed a kiss on the bridge of Kartik’s nose.

\-----

It was yet another peaceful Sunday evening and Kartik was lying in a sofa in Aman’s loft. Cuddle was curled up on his feet and Aman was making dinner.

“Dry or would you prefer gravy, Kartik?” Aman yelled from the kitchen while tossing vegetables in his wok.

“Surprise me!” Kartik clicked his tongue, resuming his typing.

He got up from the sofa a while later, shutting the flap of his laptop down and walked to the kitchen to join Aman who was now preparing Naan for dinner. Kartik wrapped his arms around Aman’s waist from the back and pressed a kiss on the nape of his neck.

“I got a new assignment,” he whispered, dropping his head on Aman’s shoulder.

“Really! What is it?” Aman chimed, pressing a quick kiss on Kartik’s cheek and resuming his cooking.

“It’s a 4-apartment deal in Agra. The investors want me to design the basic building plan and if they like it, they’ll let me be in charge of some other deals under their real estate projects,” Kartik replied, wrapping his arm Aman tightly and pulling him closer to his chest.

“Agra?” Aman gasped. “That’s... that’s... 4 hours away by car, and,” he stammered, turning around in Kartik’s hold.

“I will have to be in Agra for 2 years at the very least,” Kartik pressed his lips up.

“2 years,” Aman blinked, unable to comprehend the appropriate reaction for this. “I... you deserve this. Congratulations, babe. I am so happy for you,” he flashed a smile and pecked him on his lips. “ _Ab Agra ko bhi pata chalega, ki_ _Kartik Singh is bloody talented,_ ” he tried to sound normal.

“I won’t go, if you don’t want me to,” Kartik shrugged.

“Me,” Aman felt awkward. “I can’t hold you back from following your dreams,” he wasn’t sure if he had the luxury to keep Kartik from going after his dreams.

“Two years is an awfully long time,” Kartik swallowed.

 _“Haan, matlab... 2 saal kam nahi hote aur Agra zyada durr toh nahi,_ _but still we’ll manage right?”_ Aman rolled his eyes, pulling away from Kartik to find a clean spatula. “How much time do you have to decide?” he choked, fearing the possibility of Kartik leaving him.

“I have to meet the investors in Agra by the end of next week. If I am on board with their vision and ideas, I can start work next month. Otherwise, it will be as if the offer never happened,” Kartik whispered.

“Oh... so you have to fly to Agra next week,” Aman widened his eyes.

“I was thinking. I’ll just drive there, you know. It’s better and I will have something to commute by. If I leave early in the morning, I’ll reach Agra by afternoon, and then I can drive back as soon as I am done with the meeting and not wait for a scheduled flight,” Kartik suggested.

“It’s too risky to drive all the way to Agra, Kartik!” Aman said, gasping with fear. “Take a flight.”

“I have to pick up a few things for Devika, and 4 hours is no big deal, Aman. I can manage 4 hours,” Kartik argued. Something didn’t feel right for Aman. He didn’t want to let Kartik go to Agra by a car.

“Are you sure?” he furrowed his brows.

“I... yeah, I am. I’ll be back before you know. And by that time, if you do decide to let me know how you honestly feel about it... please, please... let me know. I want you to be honest about your feelings,” Kartik said softly, pressing a kiss on Aman’s cheek and letting him go.

They had a quiet dinner where they talked about the new assignment as well as the fact that Aman’s restaurant was almost done, and Aman had already started looking for staff to hire and preparing menus and everything. They were planning a grand opening on the by the beginning of summers so that the restaurant had a boost in customers.

That night, Kartik dozed off earlier than Aman. The chef felt Kartik’s chest going up and down below his head. His cheeks were pressed against his chest and his hand was wrapped around Kartik’s waist. “I don’t think I can see you go away to Agra, Kartik?”, Aman mumbled under his breath. “ _But main hota kaun hoon?_ ”

Kartik hummed in his sleep, making Aman jerk slightly. He craned his neck and removed the strands of hair from Kartik’s forehead, shushing him back to sleep and pressing a kiss on the side of his chin.

\-----

“Kartik hasn’t checked in all day. Are you sure he is fine? How did his meeting go?” Rajni whined, sitting across the table from Aman in his loft. Aman lifted his lips and shrugged.

“He told me that he’ll tell me face-to-face. Right before he was about to grab some snacks and leave for Delhi,” Aman replied, trying to hide the fear under his voice. He hadn’t heard from Kartik since afternoon and it was driving him insane.

“He should be here any minute then... shouldn’t he?” RJ enquired. Aman took a deep breath and nodded. “Don’t worry, _uski aadat hai kisi ko kuch na batane ki._ He is really careless like that,” the woman shrugged, getting up to order them something for dinner. Aman gulped his martini down his throat and dropped on the sofa to watch TV, possibly some reality TV.

The TV was set to a news channel when Aman turned it on and there was a live coverage about an accident on the _Yamuna Expressway_ where a lorry had driven into two cars, crushing all the members inside. The image looked devastating as hell. Fire could be seen right behind the journalists covering the news and paramedics and the fire department were running helter-skelter.

Aman dropped the remote from his hand...

.

> _“You were right, Kartik. This weekend was one of the best trips I’ve ever had,” Aman tapped the window frame in the car which was cruising on the highway and they were still 90 kilometers away from the city._
> 
> _“Soch, aur tu ghar baith ke Bachelor dekhne wala tha,” Kartik winked, overtaking the car in front of them. He could hear the rumbling of the road and noticed a speeding SUV right behind them while he tapped the steering wheel, along the beats of the music. Kartik shifted his car away from the SUV’s path and let it overtake them because he was in no hurry._
> 
> _“Oh right... waise mujhe badla toh lena hai uss zabardasti ka,” Aman pulled himself towards Kartik and pressed a kiss on his cheek, making the latter blush. He turned around to momentarily gaze at Aman and looked back to find a disoriented lorry rushing towards their side of the road. They didn’t look like they were in danger since the lorry would have had to cross the divider but considering they were crossing a bridge at the time, the roads both sides were very thin. Kartik quickly grabbed the steering wheel tightly._
> 
> _“Aman... seatbelt,” he yelled and turned the car around while applying brakes. The tires screeched as they skid on the road. The car rotated in its spot, attempting to slow down. Aman saw the movement of the lorry from the window. The driver did not look like he was in control of the vehicle as its tires climbed the divider and reached the other side of the road. He was scared because he could feel something bad was about to happen, and he wanted to hold Kartik tightly, but he couldn’t. Their car tires sparked against the friction of the ground as the lorry approached it._
> 
> _Kartik was trying to save their lives. The last thing Aman remembered correctly was the bumper of the lorry hitting their car from his side and the shock throwing the car off in the air and it drove past the boundary of the bridge, toppling upside down. He felt a sharp sprain in his neck from the hit and he had to steady himself._
> 
> _It was only a matter of seconds before they would hit the dried riverbed, but Aman felt breathlessness and sheer fear as the car went airborne. He looked at Kartik who was still trying to fight this lost battle of getting the car back under his control. The shock absorbers blew out from in front of Kartik’s, but for some reason, the ones on Aman’s side didn’t come out. As the car hit the ground head on with its bonnet digging into the sand, the movement and shock broke off Aman’s seat and he fell right out of the car, shattering the windshield._
> 
> _“AMAN!” he heard Kartik screech before a warm liquid started oozing out of his head. He coughed and took a deep breath, attempting to gain back his oxygen but his chest seemed to be lacking it. He must have punctured a lung._
> 
> _His visions clouded in front of him and his head went heavy with exhaustion and concussion. Suddenly, he could feel the need to hold on to something, respond to someone but who? Someone who was so important to him... but he couldn’t remember the person’s name. And he was sure of that person being in pain at the moment... but who the hell was that person and why couldn’t Aman remember his name or his face? His eyes started closing up as he groped around, seeking help._
> 
> _His memories became cloudier as he felt that the stairs of his house had hit him hard this time and he should think about getting them carpeted. He was going to be late and to top that, his father would not let him get to Rajni’s party on time. The last breath that he left out of his mouth came with small amounts of blood from his nose and then everything just darkened around him._

.

“If this is one of your stupid visions, Aman I swear to God, _main maar daalungi,_ ” Rajni squealed, slapping Aman gently on the face as the man collapsed on the carpet. His eyes were rolled up within his lids and he was seizing. “Wake up please,” she pleaded, holding Aman’s head in her arms as she dialed the emergency number.

“Hello... I need an ambulance... and a doctor... my brother here is, _wo behosh ho gaya please jaldi aaiyye,_ ” she sobbed and cried as the call connected.


	9. Yaad Aayenge Woh Pal

_“Do you Aman Tripathi take Kartik Singh to be your lawfully wedded husband?”, the officiator whispered. Aman looked at Kartik clad in his favorite gold and white tux and nodded immediately. Per Kartik’s insistence, they had a white wedding, followed by the traditional Hindu wedding._

_“YES, I DO!” he screamed._

_“I now pronounce you and declare you to be married to each other for the rest of your life and beyond,” the priest announced, and Aman pulled Kartik closer, kissing him right on his lips and grabbing the lapels of his tux._

.

Rajni was tightly holding Aman’s hand as the paramedics carried Aman to the ambulance and aided him with an oxygen mask to help him breathe. His seizures had been controlled, but he was still unconscious and unresponsive.

.

_“Oh my good God! Kartik, kitni pyaari billi hai. Kaha mili?” Aman cooed as he noticed Kartik walk into their home holding a tiny kitten in his hand._

_“Wo bahar thand bahot thi and he was shivering, so main ruk nahi paaya and I got it home,” Kartik whispered, rubbing the back of his head. Aman gently picked the kitten up._

_“Hello, little one. Welcome to the family,” he said, kissing its forehead. “Cuddle Singh-Tripathi,” he announced. Kartik widened his and then scoffed._

_“Tum aise naam rakhoge toh I can only imagine what our kids will have to be called,” Kartik rolled his eyes._

.

“We need to inform Kartik,” Devika marched outside Aman’s room in the hospital. The doctors had stabilized Aman and were running some tests. The physical examination had come back normal. There were no signs of trauma or concussion. However, one of the neurologists who examined Aman suggested that some residual trauma associated with the accident had put Aman’s body in a state of shock and only his subconscious could pull him out of it.

“Kartik must be on his way. If we tell him, he’ll panic and I don’t him getting into another accident,” Rajni suggested.

“We can’t hide this from him,” Devika shook her head, dialing Kartik’s number.

.

_“Happy anniversary, babe,” Aman bent down on the bed and woke Kartik up on the day of their first wedding anniversary with a kiss on the latter’s forehead. His hairs were dripping of water from the shower and the chill ran shivers down Kartik’s spine as he woke up._

_“Happy anniversary,” Kartik rasped in his morning voice. “Where did you leave early in the morning... you know I can’t sleep alone on the bed anymore... not without you,” he added._

.

“Kartik said that the accident on the expressway deflected his route and he decided to stay in a motel for the night. But he’ll be here first thing next morning,” Devika sighed, holding Aman’s hand who was sleeping on the bed. _“Yeh inn dono ke saath kya hota rehta hai. Can’t they catch a break,”_ she rubbed her temple.

“Kartik,” Aman swallowed, opening his eyes softly. “Kartik,” he gasped and widened his pupils suddenly. “KARTIK!” he repeated a third time, shooting up on the bed, struggling to get out of the clutches of the pulse monitor.

“Aman, calm down, calm down, please,” Devika and Rajni grabbed his shoulder to hold him back.

“Devika,” Aman looked at his sister-in-law. “ _Kartik kaha hai,_ _I need to see him right now,_ ” he struggled, attempting to free himself.

“Kartik is still not in Noida, but he’ll be here soon. _Tu rest kar le. Doctor ne bola ki tujhe halka sa shock aaya tha, tu rest kar,_ ” Rajni sat down on the bed and rubbed Aman’s chest. “He’ll be here tomorrow morning. You need to calm down,” she said, unable to understand Aman’s state of mind. He had known of Kartik’s trip to Agra. There shouldn’t have been a problem.

“ _Goggle,_ _I can’t calm down. Teen saal ho gaye hai, teen saal se andhere mein jee raha hoon,_ ” he mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes. “ _Teen saal se meri life ka aadha hissa mujhse chhipa hai,_ ” he announced. Devika froze in her tracks as she heard this. “THREE FUCKING YEARS. I COULDN’T REMEMBER A SINGLE THING ABOUT KARTIK,” Aman screamed, his eyes shutting down as tears squeezed out. “I DIVORCED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!” he said, helplessly.

“ _Teri galti nahi thi. Teri koi galti nahi this,_ ” Rajni shook her head, unable to comprehend the signs.

“ _Wo accident, Kartik ki galti nahi thi. Wo truck, wo aadmi, usse gaadi control nahi hui,_ ” Aman widened his eyes and looked at Devika who was now sitting down and holding Aman’s hand, rubbing his knuckles to calm him down. “ _Bahot daraavna tha, Devika,_ ” he choked. “Kartik tried so hard to pull us out of it’s way. _Usne humein bachane ke liye har koshish ki aur maine usse akele chhod diya. Usse akele_ ,” he dropped his head and broke into a sob.

“Aman. _Tujhe kaise yaad hai ki_ _accident ke waqt kya hua tha?_ ” Rajni gasped. “Did you have another vision? _Ek aur memory?_ ” she asked.

“ _Sirf ek memory nahi Goggle._ I am pretty sure I remember everything now,” Aman shook his head, rubbing his temple furiously.

“ _Tu sach keh raha hai?_ ” Devika’s eyes were filled with tears. She picked up her phone and dialed Kartik’s number. “Kartik?” she choked as the latter picked up. _“Aman ko hosh aa gaya. Le usse baat kar le,”_ she said and pressed the phone on Aman’s ear.

“Kartik?” Aman shut his eyes and whispered.

“Oh, thank God you’re awake! Aman, _tu kya kar raha tha? How did you faint? Khana khaya tha? And medicines?_ ” Kartik screamed, exasperated. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, are you ok? _Kuch bolega bhi!_ ”

“ _Main theek hoon, main theek hoon._ _But I need you,_ ” he pleaded.

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning,” he said, softly.

“I don’t want to rest, not until you are with me. I’ve slept alone for a very long time Kartik. Not anymore. Never anymore,” he rolled his eyes and dropped his head. There was a loud gasp on the other end of the phone.

“Did you have another vision?” Kartik asked.

“More like tons of them,” Aman joked. “I got my memories back, Kartik. _Mujhe sab yaad hai,_ ” he spoke after a pause. _“Sab kuch,”_ he finished. There was silence on the other side of the call and Aman could just hear Kartik’s rapid breathing.

“I am coming,” Kartik announced, hanging up the call on Aman. Kartik’s forehead, shushing him back to sleep and pressing a kiss on the side of his chin.

\-----

“RJ calm down. And then tell me. When did you last see Aman, and did he say something specifically? You know we can’t find him until you tell us everything you know,” Kartik tried very hard to contain the panic in his own voice. The entire gang was freaking out ever since Aman disappeared from the hospital. He had been away from Delhi for only one day and meanwhile, Aman had had a meltdown in Rajni’s house, had been hospitalized and now, he was missing. Things couldn’t get any worse than they were now... well _apart_ from the whole amnesia thing. But, Kartik knew that he wouldn’t find answers or Aman if he was also freaking out. Especially after the doctor had told him that Aman had gotten almost all his memories back, except for a few minor blackouts that must have been lost in his mind forever.

“He... I went to check on him last night and he said that he wanted to go home. I told him that I would take him as soon as the doctor said it was ok to,” Rajni’s covered her mouth with her palm as tears streamed out. Kartik squeezed her arm and wiped the tears away with his other hand.

“RJ it’s alright. I’ll find him. He is a strong man. Nothing is going to happen to Aman,” Kartik said, determined to follow through on his promise. The hospital was on red alert. One of their most faithful clients was missing and the administration was doing everything to locate Aman from the camera footage. Shankar and Sunaina had flown down from Allahabad and were speaking with the police when Kartik returned. Kartik wanted to see Aman so bad, now that he remembered every last bit of their time and love. The police proceeded to talk to Rajni who narrated everything she had told Kartik, but in a great deal of detail. Kartik was leaning on the wall nearby with his hands crossed on his chest. He had Aman’s wedding ring clasped in his palms and the knuckles were pressed on his lips.

“He wouldn’t understand a thing last night. I told him that I would take him home myself. I mean that man is outrageous and so stubborn. I hate him. He wanted to see Kartik and he just wasn’t ready to listen to any logic...whatsoever,” RJ cried. “He was going to be discharged first thing today morning, but he couldn’t fucking wait for a few hours,” she rubbed her head. “And we checked his loft and Kartik’s studio. He didn’t go to either of these places. I don’t know where he is. He could be confused and cold. It’s still chilly out there! God, Aman. I will kill him when I find him,” Rajni dropped on one of the chairs and held her head between her hands.

“I think I know where he is,” Kartik suddenly spoke up. His eyes flickered as he realized that he possibly knew where Aman could have disappeared to. The detectives approached him, hoping that Kartik was disclose the information. “Detective... I will go and find him myself, if you don’t mind. He is still recovering, and a police force could startle him.”, he requested.

“Mr Singh, we cannot let you go to retrieve Mr Tripathi alone. For all we know, he could be in trouble or taken hostage and we’re not letting a civilian walk in without any backup. That is strictly against protocol,” the Detective spoke up. He was a tall and stout man and his mannerisms depicted authority.

“Detective Gupta, I believe?” Kartik read the label on the man’s shirt. The detective affirmed and placed his hands on his hips. “I know Aman is not in any danger. _He told RJ ki wo ghar jaana chahta hai,_ ” Kartik lowered his tone. _“Humare ghar,”_ he explained, and Devika and Rajni’s eyes lit up as they realized that Kartik could be right.

 _“Wo ghar jaha main aur Aman rehte the. Humara ghar, jiska naam Aman ne hi ‘Ghar’ rakha tha,”_ Kartik cleared his throat. “I am positive that Aman went back to our hold home, and I need to go after him, but alone. I cannot lose him again, Sir,” his voice broke into a choke as the possibility of losing Aman dawned on him. “I am sure he is not in any danger and he sure is no danger to me,” the architect assured folding his sleeves up to his elbow.

“We understand that, Mr Singh. But we still cannot let you go alone. What I can do is ask my men to be a block away from you so that they can find you, _in case_ , you need our help, which I truly hope you won’t!” Detective Gupta looked stubborn and Kartik couldn’t argue further. They were running out of time as it is. He sighed and accepted the new offer without any further ado. He met Shankar and Sunaina on the way, and the look on their face melted his heart. He had no ill feelings for ex-in-laws, but the years of distance between them had surely put a strain on the relationship. “Kartik, _humein maaf kar de beta,”_ Sunaina folded her hands together and sniffed. Kartik reached out, grabbing her hands immediately. “ _Nahi aunty, maafi nahi,”_ it hurt him to call her that, and not _mummy._ But they didn’t have the same relationship anymore. Not yet at least. Kartik rushed out of the hospital towards his car and a group of men followed him. Rajni and Devika yelled at him to get _his husband back_ as he stepped in the car and fastened his seatbelt.

When Kartik and Aman got married about 8 years ago, they had bought a small bungalow in the South X together, in the heart of the national capital and commuted to Delhi and Noida, respectively, every day for work. Kartik had personally designed the layout of the bungalow after they renovated it, and it was like their child that they had nurtured to life. They had seen it grow from ruins into a beautiful house that they eventually named “ _Ghar_ ” with the Singh-Tripathi written just below, outside on the main gate. Aman had paid special attention towards decorating the interiors of the house and filling it will the happiest memories. Right after the accident and Aman moving back to Allahabad, Kartik moved out of their _“Ghar”,_ without any plans to sell it off or move back in without Aman because he knew or at least hoped and prayed, somewhere deep down that one day, he and Aman will go back to living there. For three years, Kartik spent one Sunday every month cleaning the bungalow and replacing white sheets on the furniture and the walls. It broke him every time he went there because the house was flooded with pictures of Kartik and Aman and all the happy times that they had seen together.

This time, as he drove across Delhi to South X, it was an entirely different feeling. The anticipation of meeting Aman for the first time since he got his memories back and the excitement of doing that in their home. Kartik pressed the accelerator as his car entered the bridge on the Yamuna.

Kartik stopped his car sticking it very close to the pavement as soon as he reached his home and rushed out, locking the car behind him. Kartik stopped in front of the house and noticed that the lights in the master bedroom were on and there was slow music playing on their stereo in the living room. _Abhi na jao chhod kar, ke dil abhi bhara nahi..._ it was their favorite song.

The door was unlocked and slightly open. Kartik took a deep breath and stepped forward. His heart was racing pretty fast. The door creaked as he pushed it and he made a mental note to get the hinges oiled the next time he came back. As he stepped on the floorboard, it dipped below his shoes and made a loud noise. Kartik gently made his way in and looked around in the living room. There was a beautiful arch that separated the reception area from the living room, which was also 4-steps lower than the entire house. Kartik peered and saw a man sitting on the steps that separated the reception area from the living room. His elbows were resting on his knees with the rest of his hand hanging down and his head was dropped down.

Kartik could recognize the figure anywhere. He cleared his throat and stepped forward, hoping to not startle Aman.

“Long day at work, babe?” he threw a question and waited for Aman’s reaction. This was something Kartik always asked Aman when the latter was worked up and gloomy. A light scoff accompanied by a sniffle pierced Kartik’s heart like a dagger. He covered the distance between him and Aman and sat behind him, dropping his long legs on either side of his ex-husband. He lifted his arms and wrapped it around the man, pressing his nose on the back of Aman’s neck. He sighed as he felt Aman stiffen below his touch.

“Kartik,” Aman whispered, his voice laden with tears and pain. The way Aman said his name was different this time. There was a familiarity in this voice, which the amnesia!Aman lacked, not that Kartik complained. There was love in that voice, and not the new love but the kind of love that was years old, matured and deep. The architect trailed his fingers blindly down Aman’s arm, with his eyes still closed, until they met Aman’s clasped fist and wrapped them around it to make a larger fist. He whispered a soft “Shh, I am here...” near Aman’s neck where his lips were brushing against and took a deep breath with an attempt to take in Aman’s scent. Aman slowly relaxed under that touch.

 _“Sabko dara diya tumne,”_ Kartik mumbled, moving his lips against Aman’s neck. “RJ went ahead and called the police. Can you imagine? But it could have been worse, had she called the BSF or RAW. Half of Delhi is looking for Aman Tripathi right now,” he chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood. He was too scared to face Aman right now, the old Aman again. The one who remembered everything about their life, their relationship, their marriage, everything. Kartik had done so well hiding his pain and longing for the last three years, but he knew that he had stuffed it all inside and looking at Aman would unleash all that in one single moment. He knew he would not be able to control his emotions in front of the man who knew him inside out. Making a joke seemed like a better way to begin this much-needed yet emotionally-taxing conversation.

Kartik tightened his grip around Aman and pressed him on his chest, burying his own face in his hair. Aman did not give him a snarky reply, instead, he remained quiet and still. “It’s ok. We can deal with all that later,” he comforted Aman, rubbing his fingers up and down Aman’s arm. He could hear the other man’s heartbeat racing under his touch. “Calm down, Aman. _Yahin hoon main,_ ” he whispered, kissing his temple. Aman’s sniffles and tiny sobs, however, didn’t seem to stop. He lifted his hands up and curled it around Kartik’s arms that were hugging his chest. He dropped his head and pressed a wet kiss on them.

“Kartik,” he repeated Kartik’s name and the latter’s eyes burned up with tears. He knew this was it. There was no holding back now. They had to face each other and the situation. He let go off Aman and spread his legs apart. Aman stood up and turned around, still between Kartik’s legs though and for the first time, really looked at his now ex-husband with all of his reinstated memories. His knees rested on the step below where Kartik was sitting, and his pupils flickered mercilessly as he looked at Kartik.

He had been dating Kartik for only a few weeks now and it was all good and romantic between them. Aman was also beginning to understand how his other self must have fallen so hard for a boy like Kartik Singh. Kartik was a man capable of making even the toughest of all melt for him. He had that charm. This time, when he looked at Kartik, he couldn’t remember anything else but how much he had missed being in love with him with every fiber of his being. Kartik’s eyes were wide open, and his brows were raised. He gently lifted his hands and cupped Kartik’s face and the boy melted in his touch, dropping his face and shutting his eyes down. Aman felt his body trembling under his touch. Kartik’s walls were coming down. Aman sniffled as he came closer and pressed a tearful and wet kiss on Kartik’s lips.


	10. Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho

Kartik broke into a sob as he kissed Aman back. The kiss was short and hasty because it wasn’t the kiss that Kartik had missed. It was Aman himself. The Aman who he hadn’t stopped loving for a single second in the time that they had been forced to spend apart. He pulled away from his lips and scanned Aman’s face. The other man was smiling at him. “That was quite the revenge, wasn’t it honey?” he chortled, clearing his throat. Aman sniffed and narrowed his brows unable to understand Kartik’s context.

“Remember you told me that you’ll make me pay for not letting you watch the _Bachelor_ that weekend and forcefully dragging you to _Murthal,_ ” Kartik shut his eyes as the painful memories of the accident flooded his mind. Aman’s expressions dropped from his face and he looked away.

“ _Mazaak kar raha tha, I am sorry. I am really sorry, sirf mazaak tha!_ ” Kartik said, very softly. Aman gave him a guilty smile and dropped further on his knees, burying his face in Kartik’s lap.

 _“Sach keh rahe ho, I could have forgotten anything,”_ he mumbled, visibly cursing himself. “ _mera first boyfriend,_ my dad not acknowledging my sexuality, our first fight that almost broke us off,” he muttered. Kartik ruffled Aman’s hair with his fingers and kissed the top of his head.

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. None of us could have known that this would happen,” he whispered.

“It is. I did this Kartik. _Hum jis bhi daur se guzre, it’s because of me,_ ” he looked up and cried, eyes red and swollen with pain and heartbreak.

“NO! You didn’t. Keep that thought out of your mind,” Kartik cupped his face and wiped the tears away, gently stroking his cheekbones.

“I sent you the divorce papers. I ended our marriage. I let you be alone in this. It was supposed to be us against the world, and I didn’t follow through on my vows to you, Kartik... I failed _us._ ”

“It is still us against the world. You didn’t fail us, Aman. Far from it. None of this is on you,” Kartik argued.

“I left you to fight alone. You were hurt, just as much as I was and there was nobody to take care of you” he sobbed incessantly as he spoke, and Kartik couldn’t look at Aman being in so much pain. He kept caressing Kartik’s face with his palms, trying to remember and re-remember what he had forgotten. He couldn’t fathom imagining Kartik left to deal with his injuries after his parents took him away. He needed to thank Devika and Arjun, but first, he needed to be there for Kartik and make him know that he is here for him now. Kartik called out his name, but Aman didn’t pay attention. He was too distraught for it.

“ _Maine tujhe uss ladke ke saath, wo idiot Tanay, uske saath jaane diya. You must have kissed and spent time together. He’s not even your type._ He didn’t deserve you and your affection. I destroyed everything that was good and beautiful about your life and forced you to go out and wow, I hate myself so much right now,” Aman continued, his mind wandering to Kartik’s ex-boyfriend Tanay. Kartik smiled at that; he had always enjoyed Aman’s jealousy.

“You didn’t, babe. There’s no one I can love more than or like I love you,” Kartik kissed Aman’s forehead as the latter curled his palms around Kartik’s wrists.

“Kartik, I love you. I am so sorry, but I love you so much!” he exclaimed, and Kartik’s heart skipped a beat. Three years since the last time Aman had told him that he loved him. He had spent three years of loving someone who didn’t remember loving him back. His lips curved into a very big smile when he heard those three words out of Aman’s mouth again.

“I love you too,” he moaned.

“I am sorry. I am so sorry.” Aman shook his head.

“Don’t be, Aman. Please. None of this is your fault. Losing you to that accident was the hardest thing I had to go through, but if something worse would have happened to you, I wouldn’t have survived that, Aman. I would have died. I lived every day of the last three years thanking anyone I could that they kept you safe and alive in that accident. I wanted nothing more than to hear you breathe. Did I not tell you this when you came over to my apartment for the first time? You are breathing and in front of me and that would have kept me going as long as I took my last breath. That is how much I love you,” Kartik pressed two quick kisses on Aman’s lips.

“Now, before the Delhi police breaks into our home, let’s get you back to the hospital so that the doctor can formally discharge you, and I can take you away from all this,” Kartik retracted his legs and grabbed Aman’s arms to get up. Aman was not willing to leave their home just yet, but he nodded. He tightly clasped Kartik’s hand as they got up, constantly reminding himself to not let go.

“I am not going anywhere!” Kartik assured as they walked out of the house and towards Kartik’s car. Aman looked up once Kartik stopped and pulled him back.

 _“Drive nahi kar Kartik, please, cab se chalte hai,”_ he panicked. The last time he had been in Kartik’s car, they had run down into a river. Kartik immediately put his keys back in and nodded, booking a cab to the hospital.

They settled in the backseat and Aman leaned closer, wrapping his arms around Kartik’s waist and placing his head on his chest. Kartik rubbed Aman’ back and kissed his forehead as they swiftly reached the hospital. Devika and Rajni were waiting for them in the lobby and as the two men walked in, they stood up, sighing in relief. Rajni took a step forward to hold Aman, but Kartik gestured her to not because Aman had tightly wrapped himself around Kartik’s arm, still too scared to let Kartik go.

They proceeded straight into the doctor’s office to get Aman checked. The doctor himself didn’t question Aman about his whereabouts but simply went ahead to do his examination. Other than being slightly starved and dehydrated, Aman’s other vitals were doing fine.

“You can take him home, Mr Singh. He is perfectly fine. But make sure he takes copious amounts of fluids and fruits. It’s necessary for his metabolism to go back to normal, now that he remembers everything,” the doctor announced. Kartik shook the doctor’s hand and walked out, with Aman still tightly holding his hand. Rajni and Devika were waiting for them outside.

“Hey?”, Kartik turned around and cupped Aman’s face. Aman smiled and looked up. “I am going to go and sign your discharge papers and get your medicines and vitamins. You stay here with RJ and Devika,” Kartik whispered. Aman shook his head, unwilling to let Kartik go.

“I’ll be back before you know it. I am done being away from you too,” Kartik smiled and pressed an assuring kiss on Aman’s lips. Aman nodded and let Kartik go. As Kartik turned his back towards Aman and walked away, Rajni pulled Aman in a very tight hug. None of them addressed the issue of Aman running away and they just sat there waiting for Kartik.

“WHERE ARE THEY!” Aman looked up when he heard his mother-in-law’s voice in the hallway. He was right. Shankar and Sunaina were approaching them with the mother wiping her tears from the end of her saree. She had a delightful grin on her face as she saw Aman, and Aman didn’t hesitate to return the smile back. He stood up and ran towards her as she opened her arms and hugged her tightly.

“Hi,” she sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Aman smiled and pulled away, kissing her cheek. He had forgotten such important people and parts of his life. “You look healthy. I am so glad,” she chirped.

“ _Mummy,_ ” Aman whispered, taking her hands in his. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

 _“Dekh, main bolti thi na, sab theek ho jayega,”_ she giggled. Shankar patted Aman’s shoulder and smiled, looking around to find Kartik. “Where’s... Where’s Kartik? I thought he was already here, wasn’t he?” she enquired, looking around for her son.

“ _Tauji wo discharge formalities complete kar raha hai. Doctors ne bola ki Aman theek hai, and we can take him home,_ ” Rajni informed. Sunaina’s eyes widened and she cupped Aman’s face. “ _Ghar jaa, Aman. Tere ghar,_ ” she whispered.

Aman was so delighted. They sat down together and waited for Kartik to come back. He returned a few minutes later, holding a packet of medicines in his hand. He approached Aman and held out his other hand. Aman smiled and took it, standing on his feet.

“You need to rest. A lot. I am not going to have you leave your bed anytime soon,” he breathed out.

“ _Mujhe baat karni hai tujhse. Bahot saari. 3 saal ki saari baat karni abhi nahi rest karunga,_ ” Aman protested. Kartik tilted his head in one direction and rolled his eyes.

“ _Mujhe bhi karni hai baat,_ but we’ll do that when you’re rested and alert. Aman, I am not asking you. This is an order! I have lost you to your health once and I can’t have you go all amnesic on me again,” Kartik said, sternly and Aman could do nothing but pout in return. They proceeded to Rajni’s car who agreed to drop them back at Kartik’s studio apartment for now. There were still some things needed to be done at their house only after which they could have moved in. Aman dozed off on the way and Kartik woke him up when the reached their apartment.

Cuddle was sleeping on the kitchen counter when he heard his father come in. He purred and welcomed him, more excitedly so when he saw his other father along with him. He followed Kartik as he put Aman in his bed and removed his shoes. He pulled a thick blanket over Aman and went to the other side to switch the lights off. The feline looked utterly confused at the whole ordeal. He hadn’t seen Aman sleep in Kartik’s bed in a very long time.

“We’re going to let him sleep, alright Cuddle! Don’t wake your father up, hear me?”, Kartik picked his cat up and whispered in his ear, while moving his fingers through the cat’s fur. Cuddle looked up at Kartik and purred, as if agreeing to obey and be a nice kitty for some time. Together, they drew the curtains and turned the lights off before proceeding to the couch. To Kartik’s surprise, Cuddle jumped out of his arms on the way and rushed back to Aman, climbing atop the bed next to the sleeping man. He sprawled above the blanket, burying his head very close to his favorite human. Kartik smiled and walked out of the room to give Aman his much-needed rest.

\------

Aman woke up nearly six hours later and found Cuddle tugging close to him. He yawned and stretched his arms out of the duvet to look for Kartik, hoping he’d be lying next to him. But, Kartik wasn’t there with him, instead Cuddle purred when he heard Aman wake up. It stood up and nestled on Aman’s neck almost startling him out of his sleep. Aman scoffed and reciprocated the cat’s affection.

“Hey _kaddu,_ ” Aman whispered, digging his fingers in Cuddle’s fur as he picked him up and pressed a kissed on his forehead. _Kaddu_ was what he fondly called Cuddle whenever he would gain some extra pounds. And now, he was quite a plump feline. Aman rubbed his head against Aman’s cheek. “Yes, I missed you too, a lot. Now, where’s your father?” Aman asked and got up from the bed, looking for his shoes when he found a pair of slippers waiting for him. “Come on, let’s go and find Dad,” Aman yawned and stepped towards the kitchen area where he could hear Kartik stirring something.

The man’s brown eyes lit up when he saw Aman walking towards him. Cuddle quickly sprinted across the room and jumped on the couch to settle on one of the cushions giving the two men privacy to talk and work things out. Kartik smiled and held his hand out to Aman.

“How are you feeling now? Did you rest well?” Kartik asked, pulling Aman close to him and wrapping his arms around his waist. Aman hummed and settled on Kartik’s chest. “Did... did Cuddle wake you up? I told him to let you sleep, but that devil,” Kartik rolled his eyes, hissing at the cat who whined in response, making the men chuckle.

“I feel very good,” Aman smiled and kissed Kartik’s forehead, lifting himself up on his toes. Kartik’s lips curved into a big smile and he turned to watch his pot simmer again. “Much better actually. And don’t blame him for everything. Cuddle didn’t wake me up. I woke up myself, much to your surprise Kartik,” he added, pausing for a minute to analyze Kartik’s face who still looked the same since the last time he remembered looking at it with his memories intact.

“I love you?” Aman narrowed his brows, adjusting a few strands of hair on Kartik’s forehead. Kartik leaned in and pecked Aman on his lips.

“I love you too,” Kartik hummed. He lifted his head up from Aman’ lips and pressed a kiss on Aman’s forehead. “Ohh, I got you something!” he inserted his hand in his pocket and took out a ring, which made Aman gasp.

“Dad gave it back to me,” he cleared his throat and Aman understood that they were talking about Shankar. “Before he was taking you back to Allahabad after the accident. For safe keeping, until the time you had a chance of taking it back,” he added, with tears glistening his eyes as he recalled the dreadful moment. “I brought it with me to the hospital when I heard about your memories because I thought you might ask for it. We’ll definitely get a new one. I mean if you want to get married again, but until then, here’s your old ring, if you want it. We won’t rush into doing anything. I promise. We’ll take this as slowly as possible. Nothing comes before your well-being,” Kartik stuttered and struggled with his words while Aman just stared at the boy, dumbfounded.

“Of course, I want my old ring back,” Aman sniffed, holding out his left hand with the palm facing downwards. “And what do you mean by _if_ I want to get married. The Aman who ended this wedding was the stupidest version of me to ever exist,” Aman rolled his eyes, making Kartik chuckle. “I am dying to be your husband again and to correct the mistakes he made, Kartik. I miss you, and I miss us. The normalcy of us, with Cuddle _aur humara Ghar._ It has been far too long, and I don’t want to spend another second without either of you. It’s already been such a long time,” he said, proudly. The corner of his eyes was shining with tiny tears.

“Alright,” he smiled and held Aman’s ring finger as he slipped the wedding back in his hand.

“Where’s your ring?” Aman questioned, examining Kartik’s naked hand.

“Uhh... it must be there in my locker...”, he rubbed his temple.

“Find it for me?” Aman asked, in the softest way possible and Kartik had to oblige, knowing that he could never refuse Aman. He walked to his cupboard and returned with his own wedding ring a few minutes later. Aman snatched it from him and dropped on his knee in front of Kartik, startling him.

“Kartik Singh, would you give this lost cause Aman Tripathi another chance and get married to me for the rest of our lives? I wouldn’t know what to do with my life without you being in it and it might sound selfish, but I have missed you enough to want you become my husband again as soon as it is possible,” he blurted out. Kartik widened his pupils and chuckled. He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt tears trickle down his throat. “This is the trashiest way to propose to your ex-husband, but I have already made so many mistakes in my life that I can’t wait to correct the most gruesome one of letting you go in the first place.”

“Do you really need to ask me?” Kartik raised a brow. “Do you have a doubt that I’ll say no to you?” he rolled his eyes.

“Kartik, shut up and answer me,” Aman shut his eyes.

“YES, Aman. YES!! I will marry you in every lifetime as long as you want to marry me too,” Kartik yelled and laughed, holding out his hand. Aman slipped the ring in Kartik’s finger and stood up, jumping right in Kartik’s arms. Kartik grabbed Aman as the latter wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face in his neck. Kartik swept him off his feet and squeezed him tightly against his chest.

“Now, how about you call those investors and tell them that you’ll take this job offer in Agra... and we’ll make this work,” Aman breathed out and smiled at Kartik.

“How??” Kartik gasped.

“I am gonna visit you on the weekends and let Keshav be in charge of the restaurant, and you visit me whenever you can, alright? In short, Kartik. We’ll make it.”

It was difficult to predict what future stored for the two men. If the past was any proof, they knew one thing – no matter what happened, their love was strong enough to survive it. Their love would pull them together even if fate ever has other ideas.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the beginning? Please let me know what you thought in the comments, or yell at me on Twitter (@malecayushmann)


End file.
